Friday 26 December 2008

Decent games from EA cause their economy to drop like flies.

When I got Dead Space from an unsuspecting grandparent this holiday, I interpreted it as a "SURVIVAL HORROR ACTION OVER THE SHOULDER GAME FROM EA WITH SOME GORE" So this is how I'm going to layout this review.

Survival: You do a quite a bit of it. Storing ammo, preserving health kits and stasis packs. By only giving you about 8 spaces and then unlockable spaces in the inventory, you have to think out strategies before you go out into the dark halls of the USG ISHUMURA, as, there isn't a single moment of rest. As you have probably heard, there is no HUD in the game. No health bars or ammo screens around your character, Issac. (ITS ZACK! Little in joke there...) Your suit is the hud as your health bar and stasis circle is situated on the back of the suit, the store and bench are also completely in game. I found myself murdered while buying health packs from the store; now that was annoying. The ammunition is shown as a hologram on the gun. The major gripe with this, is while surfing the inventory, I couldn't tell how many rounds I had left for my Plasma Cutter, which turned out to an 8 instead of 10. I think it could be better on a giant screen, but my standard TV couldn't display the rounds clear enough.

Horror: Where? I don't see any... Well, this game is panicky and gives you a little jump once and again, but the whole thing is completely obvious. The lights go out after pressing the button and a monster jumps through the window, causing you to take aim and fire. YOu also know this before any monsters are visible due to the ship flashing orange lights to alert you. This isn't scary. The first time maybe. No the next few hundred times a dead body pops up and gives you a hug.

Action: This game is more a Survival Action game. You've got you're standard quick time events when a monster starts to rip you to pieces, the whole explosions and the lot. The shooting etc appears. But it never takes over. Ever. Survival takes place more.

Over the Shoulder: Erm. Maybe I can speak about the controls? Yeah. They work. That's all I can ask for. They work and I can rest easy while tearing the monsters a new one. Left stick moves, right stick controls camera and aiming. LT redies your gun for aiming and RT does the firing. X applies a health pack and Y accesses your inventory. LB creates the run that is vital to escape and RB activates secondary weapon, EG: Mines. LT + A reloads and the best thing in this is the Zero G controls. LT + Y jumps. Thats it. LT + B Activates keninis and LT + X is your stasis. Stasis, slows stuff down making it easier to kill or pass through broken doors. As you can tell, LT is your main button. But, it might get confusing at times. Oh and RB and RT by themselves are stomp and punch respectively.

Game From EA: To be honest. This is one hell of a great game in years from the company. Seeing as Mercs and Mirror's Edge were massive flops and Far Cry 2 sort of fizzled out after a week over here in Britain, Dead Space is one of the top 5 games from the company. Yes, I am actually complimenting EA. They just nailed it right in the center of a enjoyable game. May I dare say, it matches up to Resident Evil 4? No. Don't be daft. Resident Evil 4 was the best game of the last generation.

Gore: The case has a dismembered arm. The game makes you kill the enemies by dismembering their limbs and you die in some pretty gruesome ways. How about a little bug ripping the head of and replacing it with it's own body? A giant propeller smashing you into pieces? That's just a few. You have a stomp which will just about finish off anything and slice the head off a dead body. It's just a gory ride from start to finish. Even fetuses want a bit of gore!

So, this disturbing masterpiece for the next months is given an 8/10. It's just go to point A to B and do something at B return to A and head to C. That is the basics of a mission in this game. The voice acting was decent for a horror game, but this isn't a horror game as such. Ah well, it's fun.

Thursday 18 December 2008

Resident Evil Degeneration is the third best game to film ever.

Resident Evil Degeneration is your bog standard zombie thriller at heart. But it's RE, so you've got the oddities.
The film takes place between Resident Evil 4 and Resident Evil 5. I think this is to clear up what was happening to anybody else, but it sure failed at that. There are as much plot holes in this film. Bad enough the series already had plot holes the size of the grand canyon. There must be at least 4 sentences through out the thing that relate to anything that happens that links to RE5. And even one of those must be incorrect. But the setting is first the air terminal as advertised but quickly moves to some research lab.
The best thing from this film was Leon. He's just an emotionless, zombie slaying bad ass. He beats Chris. The voice actor was superb at grasping the RE4 voice, unless they brought him in, I'm not sure. But Leon is also the worst. You can see throughout, that he is as wooden as a tree, he barley moves until the last 30-25 minutes and it's just pure laziness. On the whole the animation was nice and smooth, even if the facial expressions made them look like they'd all had work done.
There isn't a lot of Leon, which dissapointed me. Theres quite a bit of Claire, who remains to be as annoying as she was back in RE2. Fun times. Theres also some new women whos brother is the main monster thing. She's got the best "see a friend die " scream ever. "GREG! GREG! GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEG!" While Leon drags her out. Greg I'm glad died. If your going to have Chris, have Chris. Not Greg. The fat bloke who's real important is the most useless side character ever and why was there only one child throughout the entire terminal?
The zombies are meant to be scary. They aren't. There just plain humorous at times. When the plane full of new zombies crashes into the terminal, there aren't any stairs or ramps to help them down. No, they fall out one by one into a pile. I was wetting myself. But, i was sad to see them last about 15 minutes throughout the film. It was fun seeing classic RE zombie rapes.
What I was shocked to find, was Resident Evil 2 references the entire time. You even get flash backs with Leon and Claire running through Raccoon City. It really is the top of fan service; Ingrid Hunnigan makes a frikin appearance! But the film is strictly for the fans. Anyone else won't get it.
This film is just a big cut scene from start to finish. Which, I have to say, has to be the best scripted cutsecene in the world of video games. The film fills out nicely through it's ninety minutes and the day is saved by Captain Wood and the annoying women who says Leon really sexy like. I give this, a, 7/10.

Sunday 14 December 2008

Halo 3 and Resistance Fall Of Man reviews. Two shooters. Just ones more awesome than the other.

Everone pretty much knows about Halo. If you haven't then, you've been living under a rock for the past 10 years. First announced for the computer as a stratedgy game, it quickly turned out Bungie and Microsct had another idea. Bungie mutated it into the epic first person shooter we know and love today.
In the game, you play as Spartan-117, Master Chief. As the opening cinematic starts, unless you didn't play Halo 2, you realize what has become of the Chief. He has been crash landing towards earth and lands in the middle of the forest. Even in the first 6 minutes, you see the true power of the machine. The cutscenes have the same graphics as in the game. You are given a test as you begin, to check your sensitivity of your aim. Though this is pointless, as it didn't make much difference later in the game.
As you travel through to the next area, I begun to notice that this was pretty linear and fast paced. This was how a shooter should be made. Some free travel but really it all leads to the same path. You are pretty immersed within the game, until a cutscene drags you into a cinematic camera. Or a turret and flamethrower. This didn't bother me to much. The dialouge is cheesy but surprisingly well written. It's all linked to the previous games and references and fimilar faces appear time a d time again., (and incase you don't, and feel left out, Wikipedia it.) Though not the best, it is pretty enthralling as you watch it unravel. (Hint! Play through on Legendary or Heroic to find a secret scene!!)
The vechle sections are pretty much the most fun Ive had in any game that allows you to drive. Movement stick accelerates and looking stick turns you about. Left trigger drifts. Speaking of controls. These controls are some of the best ever. A to jump. B to melée or detach turret, X to throw down equipment, Y to switch weapon. The right trigger shoots and left throws your grenade or fires you dual wield weapon. Left bumper changes grenades and right trigger reloads, and activates things. Feels nice in my grip and everything.
Where Halo stumbles is the short time in campaign. As epic as it is, it's too short. On normal, you can blast through it in about several hours. This is where Legendary mode comes in. Achieving completion, is one of the greatest things you can do. I'm still trying to pass the second level. It's brutal, the enimes are completly nuts and the weapons do there job. It's frantic and fun. Espically in multiplayer.
The multiplayer on this game, is the most, awesome multiplayer since Counter Strike Source. With so many ways to play, either a standard deathmatch or team capture the flag, to grifball or zombie survival. The community is full of fools and very nice guys. It's frantic and espically, it's fun.
Youve got other features such as Forge, in which you edit maps in multiplayer, or theatre mode. Got an amazing headshit that you want to show off? No matter, simply load up the file, record the moment and share it over Xbox Live. You can capture nearly any moent from single to online modes. Very fun and it's amazing what can be done with it. (Roster Teeth's Red vs Blue Internet series, DigitalPh33r's Arby 'n' the Cbief or Duex Ex Machina)
On the whole, this game is epic. As sson as that Balo theme enters, you know your in for a treat. I give this an A or a 9/10.

Resistance. In anyway you look at it, it looks perculiar. Based in a differnet universe, , (Josh Hawksworth has given me the infomation) the Russians have developed a human enhancing thing. No matter how you look at it, there aliens. You must now battle through Well know areas, (Mabchester or York anyone?) The game's controlls are pretty similar to Halos. Just on another controller. X jumps, O chucks a grenade, triangle melees, which is really awkward and poorly placed. R1 shoots, R2 changes weapons, similar to Gears Of Wars weapon changing menu, L2 crouhes and L1 I'm not to sure. It made a bang and I got confused.
Let me praise it first. The story is pretty decent, the eniems are tough and the guns are nice and in viriaty. Ok, praise over? I really didn't like this game. It was sloppy from the start. Crouch was placed on the stupid marshmellow triggers and so was weapon changing. I would want a shotgun fast, to take out these giant dogs, and my finger would slip off. If it's going to be like that, at least put the weapons on the D-Pad, since your allowed four, place one to each arrow, and flashlight on the marshmellow. The enemys were dumb. Not the concept, but how they acted. In Halo, they would throw grenades at the minor enimes to send them as suicide bombers. These would stand around in one place but in a large number. The o my time they atually did a clever thing was when I was dead and waiting a respawn. They don't die properly and just sort of bend over like a squashed banana. Health was stupid two. Your given 4 bars of health. If a bar goes down half way, it will regenerate. Once it's depleted it won't. FAir enough? No. No it isn't. Health packs are thrown at you atthe BEGINING OF THE LEVEL. After that there pretty much hard to find. There will be two placed together, but, in co-op, one player might take two. Ammo is given for liketwo guns the whole time, and the guns are stupidly, stupidly, stupidly unbalanced twarss the enemy. They can kill you in a few shots, you take nearly half a round. Wrong. Oh and don't bother with grendades.
The characters you couldn't give two hoots about. The good thing about this? You can take your friend along for the ride in a decent co-op mode.
Whats this about the PS3 having GOOD GRAPHICS? These were crap. Full stop. I failed to notice any realistic textures, any outer coulours apart dog dirt brown and greys. I found it hard to navigate. The level structure was a mishap and graphics poor most of the time. Explosions looked like a dodgy mess. Quake 2 has better explosions than that! And it was made in the 90s! This is a pathetic excuse at an fps.
Overall? A C. Multiplayer brings this up. Graphics, controls and weapons were awful and the whole thing a tedious mess.

Ok, here's my low down on the console war: PS3 VS XBOX 360

So it seems my iPod can only type on this setting....

Let's start with the pros of both consoles.

Xbox:
- Brilliant graphics
- Decent backlog of games
- Many exclusive titles, (Halo, Gears of War)
- Connectivity with your Windows PC for multimedia. (Media Center)
- Nice, comfortable controller
- Easy to use interface
- Xbox Live is infinatly the better service at the moment
- Nice community within online games
- Ability to use MSN within your games
- Powerful Machine

Playstation 3:
- Brilliant Graphics
- Light controller, easy to use
- Little Big Planet
- Nice interface
- Bluetooth
- Able to hold memory on M2 cards
- Blu-Ray
- In-built browser

The cons:

Xbox:
- Red Ring Of Death
- No unbuilt browser
- No Little Big Planet
- Controllers d-pad is pretty much useless at times
- Stupid idiots who scream into their microphones
- Noisey
- Gets hot
-

Playstation 3:

- Not enough decent games
- Not enough exclusives, seeing as it's lost Final Fantasy 13, it's next big thing...
- Six-axis is pretty much stupid to be honest. When in GTA did you use it?
- Game developers have to take longer due to blu-ray
- The blu-ray can hold more stuff is stupid, by the time the blu-ray graphics are in, the extra space is redundent.
- It costs too much still.
- Backwards comparability was it's most greatest feature, the newer models no longer have it. Time to buy or dig out your PS2?
- Silly idiots online
- No proper community
- Bluetooth headset is rather idiotic of them. Why not take Miffosofts idea and have it wired and come with the package?
- Its bloody huge!

Now you may be wondering, "Wheres Xbox Live costs?!" Well no, it's a stupid argument. Most people are willing to pay 40 pounds for a year. It's not going to kill most, hard working citizens. But then again, if I wanted to play a game, I'd play the Orange Box on my PC.
Final verdict; until PSN can pick itself up, Xbox Live beats it. Until Microsoft realize that they need to check for bugs in the console, the Playststions reliablity is still not intact either. They too malfunction.
If you want to play games, and proper games, not FIFA, like Gears Of War or Halo, buy the Xbox, it's cheap and good money.
Want a home cinema system/ multimedia center pick up a PS3, there just too little games at the moment.
Oh, and if you want, pick up a good gaming PC for online play. Rumour is, PSN could be charging soon. There's money to be had!

Friday 12 December 2008

Fable || was awesome!

I love this game to pieces. It's charming and fun.

In the game you start off as a boy or girl and find a magic box to grant you a wish with your sister. Your sister is then shot dead and the game starts.

During the course of the game, you will be accompinied by your faithful dog. This dog is easy to get attached to. It helps you find treasures, (Even if it is a condom....) helps you to fight and be your friend.

You also get to choose wheter you will be a nice, fun loving guy or the eviliest twat in exsistance. Your choices within the game affect your looks and how people treat you. If your a good guy, merchants will lower there prices and if your evil, vice versa.

I chose to be a nasty, ruthless killer, with several dead wives and all the guards after me because i killed over 500 people. This is fun but has it's consequences.

You can also get get married and have kids. This is a bad idea unless you plan to visit them every day. Save this feature till the end as it gets rather irritating being whined at by the kiddies because you don't visit.

Spells and guns have no limit. This keeps the action fast and the 3 buttons, (X for melee, Y for ranged wepons and B for spells.) The more you vary or concentrate on these the more you character will change. You spells a lot and white viens will show up on your body.

Expirence points arn't earned like in WoW or Pokemon, if you kill someone, blue, green, yellow or red orbs scatter the area and these will go toward your next spell or skill or even physique.

The charming aspect comes from all this, because it is so fun. The characters, are very life like and charming. Even if they do repeat themselves over time. The action is fast paced and comes in short bursts and having a sexy time with several people, is rather funny. 

You earn achievments when you play with your dog, so just try everything with the dog and you'll rack up about 30 points in a matter of minutes. 

CO-OP is generally solid and has all the great qualities of what co-op should be. Player 1 takes the lead and player 2 just stands around waiting to fight. Player 2 gets all your abilities and their own expirence and gold. Friend has to go? Never mind, you get all the loot. I found after an hour of play with my brother, I'd earned about 10,000 gold from it. 

Now I mentioned the consequences. These arn't at all probalmatic and nothing a few farts can sort out. Things you will find are that prices go up, people run away from you and you start to look different. EG: My guy ended up with horns and grey skin. The dog just look a right mess. 

Now. This game might be fun, but their is always a catch. LionHead didn't atually debug it. (IF YOU GET THE PATCH, IT SHOULD RUN FINE) But for those Xbox Liveless, are taking a gamble. You could get no picture, the abbot doesn't respond, the people don't respond, no sales or other events or time can stand still. So if your at night time, and time freezes, you can't do a blasted thing about it. You cant do anything, no shops etc. 

Overall? I give this a 10/10. Brilliant, fun and very amusing. Even if it does have a few bad points. Like the blond in your school, who had the real big boobs, but she had a few spots. She had a huge rack though.

 

Thursday 11 December 2008

Crimbo! Games! Top 10! Puppies! Updates! Reading! Oh MY!

Ok, you got a console or computer? Play games? Read and learn.

Top 10 Games to buy this Christmas!
1) Little Big Planet (PS3)
2) Fable 2 (Xbox 360)
3) The Orange Box (PC, Xbox 360 and PS3)
4)  Call Of Duty worl At War (Pc, Xbox 360, PS3, Wii, DS, PS2)
5) Fallout 3 (PC, Ps3, Xbox 360)
6) Duke Nukem 3D (PC, Xbox Live Arcade)
7) Halo 3 (Xbox 360)
8) Guitar Hero 4/ Rock Band (Xbox 360, PS3, Wii, PS2)
9) Left 4 Dead (PC, Xbox 360)
10) Dead Space (PS3, Xbox 360, PC)

Top 6 Games to look forward to:
1) Duke Nukem Forever (When it's done, PC)
2) Half Life Episode 3 ( 2010 PC, Xbox 360, PS3)
3) Street Fighter 4 (2009, Xbox 360, PS3)
4) Resident Evil 5 (13.3.09 Xbox 360, PS3)
5) Tekken 6 (September 09, Xbox 360, PS3)
6) Halo 3: Recon (2009 Xbox 360)

Updates:
Resident Evil 5 looks like Gear of War.
Duke Nukem Forever won't be coming out yet.
Half Life episode 3 won't be out till about 2010. (New Source engine and all.)
Left 4 Dead was modded on 360 instead of the much simpler PC.
Little Big Planet is awesome because it has Stephen Fry.
Grand Theft Auto 4 is getting new missions and character. 
Grand Theft Auto Chinatown wars is for DS.
Dead Space isn't scary.
Metal gear could be coming out for 360.

PUPPIES!

Tuesday 9 December 2008

Geek

New film. Gonna be low budget and full of the whiney teenagers who fill today's video games.

Thursday 4 December 2008

Just some new and an update...

I'm ill. as I type this update, I'm sick to my stomach and only eaten a butter sandwhich. I do hope I get better. Need to nag peoples.

I felt rather disappointed with the replayabiluty value of COD5. Apart from the Nazi Zombies and online play, I hardly find the need to play through on a harder difficulty. The only thing I can think of is co-op with my brother in a few weeks time or Live co-op. Or pick up COD4, seeing as its all the same engine.

The big games have come out and gone. Does this generation have ADD or a memory loss? 
FIFA 09, is the same game but with a bit of polish. Footie Manager 09 finally relasied we want online play and 3-D. But seeing as soem of my friends are complete idiots and don't listen to me, can't play it propally. YOU NEED STEAM YOU IGNORANT DICKS.
Gear 2, I've covered this, but the only people I notice playing are frat boys with a fancy for sports and violence. Oh and macho men looking for wives. (WWWWWWWWWWWHEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY  WWWWWWWWWWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE???????????????????)
Mirrors Edge just sucked balls.
Prince Of Persia apparently doesn't have a game over screen.
Guitar Hero is improving it's back catalouge of games.
Rock Band helps sell more of The Who. Did you knw that when The Who put the album on, it sold more than any other.
NXE is pretty desent. (If only I could spell it.)
PSN is filled with rich frat boys; I can't find a single person to socialise with who doesn't ask for a game of FIFA.
LittleBigPlanet is probably my most wanted game to play. I don't own a PS3 because I'd much rather by a neat little PC from this site: www.computerplanet.co.uk
On this fasinating site, they build your PC that you spec. I'm tempted to sell this laptop to my dad for a reasonable price. It has 3gb of ram, 1.81 ghz and AMD Turion 64 x 2 with a nVIDIA graphics card. Oh I sound a geek...

And a shout out to Ariella, whos going in for an operation at this time and place. Get better soooooooooon!

Joel.



Monday 1 December 2008

*SPOILERS* Call of Duty: World At War is possibly the best WW2 game ever

CoD5 is my favourite game on Xbox at the moment. Just a few hours ago I completed the epic and realistic story campaign. I was intrigued by Treyarch's choice to cover other areas of World War 2, but not the British areas. I guess this was a good choice really, seeing as this will always lead to D-Day.  
 You are pitted through the Japanese jungles and Germany's burning streets. Let's start with the American part of the campaign. When you first start, you are the cheesey, over macho Americans. Just to go off topic... WHY DO THE AMERICANS ALWAYS SOUND OVER MACHO AND ON STEROIDS? COME OFF IT!
 So the Japanese are very different to any other enemy in a war game. They'll climb trees and snipe you, they'll go into spider holes and pop out when least expected and kick you onto your back and attempt to stab you. This is like the games version of Quick Time events. you have to stab the right stick in as soon as it pops up. This is a little flawed as, it doesn't always work when you want it to. But, thankfully, this doesn't happen to much as you have them dead before it happens.
 You jump to the Russian areas of the game through very informative videos of WW2. These are the best parts of the game; because you can believe it. You wake to find yourself as Dimitri, a man who just cheated death as the Nazi's scour the area for surviors to kill. Your given a sniper rifle to take out a general. This is very tense, as if you screw it up, the enemy knows your where abouts. (HINT: HE'S ON THE LEFT HAND SIDE.)
 So, moving on from really macho men and rather emotinally moving Russians to weapons. The COD4 fanatics are really going to hate the choice. But, Treyarch did the right thing. They researched the rate of fire, the power and the feel. The only weapon that will make them happy is the shotguns. But, to be honest, they appear twice and don't last that long. I did enjoy them, blasting a german into two with a sawed off. Now. Children, the flamethrower is the best weapon in the game. You can kill everyone with a single blast. It never runs out, it clears everyone out of the way. That. Isn't. What. I. Wanted. Might be fun at first, but it becomes stupidly overpowered and unless your on the hardest difficulty, your going to find the American levels a breeze. See, on harder difficulties, the enemy will continue to fire through the blaze. 
 There is one vehicular level through out the game, and a good one that couldn't be topped without being repeptive. Your a tank. You blow stuff up. Good enough for me. 
 So, a WW2 that is different and continues to be so much fun online and the unlockable mode, NAZI ZOMBIES! When you unlock it, 50s style writing for a film comes up and your pitted agianst hordes of zombies. Build barriers and try to live for as long as possoible. It is very much the best thing to add to an epic game. An epic mini game. Though the depth is shallow, it can last you hours trying to top your scores.  
 And to conclude this review of COD5:WAT, I give it a 9/10. It was to short for my liking and multiplayer might not last me long enough until i go back and pick up Call of Duty 4. 
 






SPECIAL EDITION COSTS AN EXTRA 10 POUNDS, GIVING YOU A TIN, CANTEEN AND A GUN THAT YOU MUST UNLOCK STRAIGHT AWAY.