Saturday 22 November 2008

Mirrors Edge sucked. Hands Down.

Mirrors Edge; one good looking turd. It had the potential to set a new standard for games. But it failed. It jumped a building too high to reach. And fell. And went splat on the pavement.
Ok lets start with the good points. The graphics push the XBox to the full potential. It's bold and theres no browns or greys of the next generation. To add to the looks, the cartoon cutscenes have a very nice feel to them, can be humurous and well drawn.
It's innovitive. That's the bottom line. It was an expirement that needs just a little extra to make it the game we want.
And dropping from the good to the absolute poor. HOHOHO!
Just to say, I had this on rental, and as usual, i get rather far before I have to hand it back. I played it for 3 days. Not consecutivly, but over a week and completed it within 6 hours. 6 HOURS. 6?! That is pathetic. Even the time trails couldn't bring me back for the last day before handing back time. What's the point? None. I enjoyed the begginging, when you jump onto a helicopter. Very exciting. READER. SPOILER ALERT. SPOILER ALERT. (Mind you theres no story to spoil :P) WHY DID THEY FUCKING PUT IT AT THE END?! SCREW YOU!
I also hated the combat. You were over powered the entire time. Your punches would do no damage unless you spam. There was no tactics involved. And theres an achievment for not firing a gun? Let me tell you now, it can only be unlocked during the training or the first mission.
Theres no story, it gets repetitive and I hate it so much, I can't bear to write about it. It was horrible, the only way you could turn around fast enough is by turning up the sensitivity. Hmm. Well. I give this game a D+. Poor. Very Poor.

Sunday 16 November 2008

Lets rock! (GH4 REVIEW! AT LAST!)

Thursday, 6th of November:
"Hello, this is Gamestation, Manchester, how can I help you?"
"Yeah, I'm just phoning about Guitar Hero 4, I've had it on preorder fro about a month, and its been delayed twice already, can you tell me; is it out tomorrow?"
"No sorry, we got the wrong date."
"You've lied to me again?"
"Sorry sir."
*CLICK*
Thursday 13th of November
"Is it in tomorrow?"
"No, we got told the drums were faulty."
"Oh, right, keep it on order for me..."
"Goodbye."
Firday, 14th of November
"Hello, Gamestation."
"You fucking liars. I'm fed up with your service. Game have just delivered my friends copy of the flipping game!"
"Yeah, we only got ours in last night..."
"LAST FUCKING NIGHT, YOU TOLD ME, ITS DELAYED!"
"Sorry sir..."
"I won't be coming again."
"No sir...*CLICK*"

So I went and scoured Manchester for GH4. And Blockbusters, I reccommend. I got it 50 pounds cheaper, full band and everything. Let us dive in.

Ok, from the announcment made back in early 2008, I was on the Guitar Hero band wagon. I had number 3 and 2. I was waiting for the DS version. (I now have a crippled hand.) I was excited. I was hyped. I had played Rock Band. The two games are on par.

So, this is for Wii. And yes, the graphics suffer, but, in reality, do you look at the guys chuggiing along? NO! Your looking at the frikin colours and notes! (I'm baring a grudge against IGN for even bringing that up.) Yes, Rock Band has the upper hand on animation, but GHWT is a different style. On Wii, it looks good, not fantastic, but good. And that, my friends, is good enough for me. The only time you do look at them, is while your waiting for it to start, during a boss battle when they do there thing, and when a celeb comes on. That is the only times.

The songs are solid enough for everyone, none with too much drums or guitar or singing. Everyone will be emphasising on the "UMPH!" of Van Halen, I know my family have. But I was put off when Bon Jovi came on. Me and my dad arn't exactly the biggest of fans.

The instruments are fantastic, but, theres a catch. The guitar now has a slider thingy, which you uses during specific solos, where the notes look metallic. You then proceed down the fret board to these touch buttons, screwing up your note streaks or putting you in the red zone. They can sense static electricity on the fingers or dont work fast enough. There too rough to. At times when you've come out of a long song, and your sliding away, it can begin to hurt. The drums have gameplay issues. (THIS IS MY COPY, SOME WILL HAVE OTHER PROBLEMS OR NONE AT ALL.) The red pad doesn't respond all the time. I have to literally smack it with all my might to get some responce. If you are having problems, please, click this link: http://www.pcworld.com/article/153260/guitar_hero_drum_fix.html?tk=rss_news
Other than this, the microphone works really well.

Playing in a band is awesome. It feels more realistic than RB. People have been complaining about the "1 fail all fail" system. If Slash fucked up his solo, and then Axel proceeded to fuck up on his lines, you'd boo them off. The whole band would lose money and fans and have live in Slash's hat. But, it's rare someone will fail, as long as they know what there doing. The Band meter is situated in the top corner and is clumsily scrunched up. It can be difficult to read, but the singer isn't always singing, get them to check now and again. I also like how they've added the new fashion; having star power in star power mode. It's dead handy.
The career is like any other GH, play, move on. It might seem linear, but the added boss battles are always good fun. And now, you don't have to worry about fans, in case you have someone who sucks, you can rest with ease that your fans will desert you, because it's not even in the game! But I do miss the rewards at the end, apart from the unlockables you get, I still wanted to win a bus. Ah well, you can't have it all.

The creation mode is beyond impressive. I've got a bright blue, body builder and a flying V with a dragon on. My band's logo, is a monkey with a guitar. Now that's creation for you. The Wii exclusive, Mii Freestyle is pretty cool too. It can help you out with the tricky solos, and positioning of fingers. The music creator is fun too, but takes a learning curve to get a good song. Also some patience. Theres a song on mine with all five buttons being played at the smae time for 5 minutes. AND GUESS WHAT? Nintendo's new, Pay&Play is revield through the power of Downloadable content. Is all good.

So, what do I make of it? A* , *****, 9/10 etc etc! This is worth every penny. But I wanted to sing DRAGONFORCE....

I will do a review for Mirrors Edge soon. Its great so far!

Thursday 13 November 2008

I hate people. (Part one)

RANTING TIME! TRANSFORM AND ROLL OUT!

And so here we are, back to my favourite thing. Hating people.

I hate nosey people. "Why you getting plans for a conservatry?", "Wkill it go onto my drive?"
NO DAMN IT! THE COUNCIL ARE THERE TO MAKE SURE I DOESN'T HAPPEN.

I hate the girls in my year, (OR GRADE!) who do stupid poses for the camera for Facebook. WE GET IT! YOU HAVE BOOBS!

I hate my teachers. Sons of bitches that need to get a life. Except for one, me and him had a long talk about video games. (How cool?)

No, I have notrhing to talk about. I hate you.

Saturday 8 November 2008

Far Cry 2 is pretty cool!

So, Far Cry 2. Big action FPS. And the emphisis on the action. And big. And FIRST PERSON. In the game you're completly immersed in the game, apart form a few huds. From the start, to the end. And I'm no way near the end.

So, controls. (Get this, we're being snazzy.)
It's your standard FPS, the controls do their job. I'm happy. Though the driving is slightly irritating. Guess it's what I call, "Halo-Driving-Syndrome." Because, I'm always looking around when it's not needed, and because of the sensitivity soemtimes, it starts to go everywhere!

Gameplay/Story:
In the game, you are out to kill a guy. He's called the Jackal. Now he has loads of henchmen ect.
The only gripe i have with it is, the crap story line and the slowness of the beggining. Only half way through the game does it pick up and slap you in the face, give you a Red Bull and a coffee and kicks you out the door.
There's also diamonds. And you use the screen hogging map, to find these with DIAMOND TRACKING GPS! I WANT ONE! It's a unique way to earn money, instead of being handed it every time. I also approve of the Buddy System. If you make a a friend, they go on the buddy list and can be used to help you survive. So I died, and suddenly my guy wakes up to find this guy drag him to saftey! How cools that?
The map editor isn't exactly ground breaking but is a hell of a lot of fun.
I love how the game gives you a flame thrower at the start. A little taste of whats to come I suppose. (So far, I've done most of the game with a shotty, flamethrower and a pistol. The Machete is bollocks.)
The NPCs are outstanding. They chatter, they do there job if you anger them and they have amzing skills. They can shoot you from a mile away, and get your health half down. I can't fault that. But I read a few reviews, (IGN I'M LOOKING AT YOU...) That said, they don't get harder as you progress. They don't need to. If your in this situation in real life, you don't see them turning into big muscly men with an RPG, and a flashing weak spot. Fucktards.
To add to great weapons, a medicore story and a bunch of great ideas, wait for the rest of the review.

Sound
It's pretty much just there. It goes all crazy when in trouble etc. The voice acting is beyond the standard needed. So good.

Graphics
I'm reviewing of the XBOX version, and I saw the PC version at a friends. There identical. The PS3 version, I haven't seen, but heard it's pretty much the same to. They squeeze everything from what they can get. It's totally awesome. Though, underwater is to murkey. The night is pitch black, the day is brighter than Britian. It's africa alright. But, if it is Africa, why isn't anyone black or sunburnt? I mean theres a few scattered black people; WHERE ARE THEY YOU RASISTS!

Conclusion
I hope you enjoyed this little change. I know I hated it. Never agian. But I think for this game, it was suited. The game was enjoyable so far, it has a nice varied change in gameplay; driving is fun to do, but tedious. The controls work for shooting and the difficulty is realistic. Well worth the buy. 9/10.

Friday 7 November 2008

The French don't get how Britiain works. (I hate the French Part |||)

So we went on the trip today. And because it was to a libary in Manchester, (How exciting are we?) and we took the metro tram, its like an over ground subway service. It was full of people going to work and everything, yet the French stick was going round asking strangers to move. Ok, point one; the British don't give up their seats for strangers barring the elderly and preggerz.

Just off point for a few seconds; don't go to central libary for tourist visit. ITS BORING! So old and tatty.

Anyway. On the way back, she decided to take her phone out, sat down next to my friend and started to take pictures of the two of them. He didn't look best pleased. So there she was holding this very posh, LG Viewty and some thug was staring at her. I said, "Sit down, now! In Britian, we don't work like that, anyones gonna mug you at any point!" She sat down and told me, "Why do I sit down?" I just stared in amazment. WOW, I hate you.

Thursday 6 November 2008

Games rant, (I hate buggy games.)

Don't you? Todays games are littered with them. Even top selling game, Mercs 2 was filled with glitches. You cpould drop from the highest tower in the game, land, have 2 hit points left and still get up to do it all over again. But the thing was, YOU ALWAYS LAND ON 2 HEALTH! No way around it. Ah well, it's a hell of a lot of fun.

I booted up Duke 64 the other day. What i found was, that, I could see through walls, and being rather confused on the hardest difficulty, i wasted my shotgun just shooting a wall! I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW! I just thought that, it was a hard setting, so, hard eniemes. I soon gave up on it and played the superior PC version.

I also got Gears 2. I soon returned it. I did the same with Gears 1 back in 2007. They are not my sort of games. I just can't grasp the controls, let alone the dire story and cheesey acting. Though i give it an A star for effort. It is different. Even if it slightly homosexual in a wierd way, it's different and I'm sure it works a charm; my brain can't figure the controls out. I'm not used to the A button mapped to most actions, even Resi 4, with it's similar control scheme, I found more thrilling. Chainsaw-wielding gay men isn't my bag. Chainsaw-wielding Spaniards is where my party is at. I give it a 4/10.

So, I played a bit of EA's Dead Space at a friends house and I have to say, it's bloody fantastic. But gore doesn't count as horror. talking of EA, Mirrors Edge demo came out, and having watched it for a while in the news etc, i was thrilled to be able to try it out. And I'm glad to say; it's not a dissapointment. It works well, the controls are mapped correctly, the weapons, being not the main aspect, and only having about 5 minutes on the whole with one, arn't the greatest. They don't feel that oomph. But it's not a FPS; it's a FPAPS, if you don't know, thats a First Person Adventure Platform Shooter. Oh yes, if this was 2-D it be like the original Duke Nukems with Sonic and Mario thrown in. It's just great and hope to see more like this from EA.

Sonic... I couldn't care for anymore. I don't want a "WEREHOG". I want Sonic The Hedgehog we all used to know. Not this... watered down, 3-D crap. I mean, I can live with the 2.5-D sections, they look fucking awesome. But the WEREHOG sections look like SOnic Adventure 2 on Gamecube. AND THAT WAS GOD AWFULLY AWFUL! Though throwing Choas around was a hell of a lot of fun. TAKE THAT YOU LITTLE FUCK-TARDS! HAHAHA!

How did we come onto this? I was speaking about buggy games! Well I guess the above games are slightly buggy. Ah well, I got everything off my chest that I wanted.

Joel.

PS: Shadow the Hedgehog doesn't even count as a game anymore.


Saturday 1 November 2008

What?!

Ok, little rant thing about many things.
Facebook have unbanned me. YAY!

Lets start witha few people I know off Facebook. And in school. And remember I'm in year 9. In America, it's about 3rd grade in high school. Something like that. What ever year Miley Cirus was taken out of school by Disney. 14 years of age. And these girls are in their underwear. AT 14! FOR BOYS! Now I'm not complaining, but, parents? Little control. Now we have a little brothel in our classes. HIGH FIVES!

Guitar Hero World Tour was released in America and 7th of November in the UK. From the reviews, the Wii version hasnt improved, the xbox and ps3 versions have failed and Rock Band is so god damned expensive to buy, if you want the complete expirence. Let me try to explain.
Rock Band 1 was released a year ago nearly, and now Rock Band 2 has been released and soon to be in the UK. Now if you own the first version, you can copy over all the songs from 1 to 2. Simple? Not when you splurge 180 pounds, plus 40 and then, on DLC or cymbals, its going to cost a bit. Guitar Hero comes with all these without the friendly interface, or band saving. I can live with that. If Slash fucked up his guitar solo in a song, you'd boo them off right? Not wait for them to recouparate and try to save his behind. They'd be ashamed. GHWT is trying to show you, that if you suck, you suck. Live with it. Try again. Not have your band members take their eyes off there side of the screen to also fail if on a harder difficulty. Really though, the singer is always going to come out top. I hope you understodd that.

See ya next time!