When I got Dead Space from an unsuspecting grandparent this holiday, I interpreted it as a "SURVIVAL HORROR ACTION OVER THE SHOULDER GAME FROM EA WITH SOME GORE" So this is how I'm going to layout this review.
Survival: You do a quite a bit of it. Storing ammo, preserving health kits and stasis packs. By only giving you about 8 spaces and then unlockable spaces in the inventory, you have to think out strategies before you go out into the dark halls of the USG ISHUMURA, as, there isn't a single moment of rest. As you have probably heard, there is no HUD in the game. No health bars or ammo screens around your character, Issac. (ITS ZACK! Little in joke there...) Your suit is the hud as your health bar and stasis circle is situated on the back of the suit, the store and bench are also completely in game. I found myself murdered while buying health packs from the store; now that was annoying. The ammunition is shown as a hologram on the gun. The major gripe with this, is while surfing the inventory, I couldn't tell how many rounds I had left for my Plasma Cutter, which turned out to an 8 instead of 10. I think it could be better on a giant screen, but my standard TV couldn't display the rounds clear enough.
Horror: Where? I don't see any... Well, this game is panicky and gives you a little jump once and again, but the whole thing is completely obvious. The lights go out after pressing the button and a monster jumps through the window, causing you to take aim and fire. YOu also know this before any monsters are visible due to the ship flashing orange lights to alert you. This isn't scary. The first time maybe. No the next few hundred times a dead body pops up and gives you a hug.
Action: This game is more a Survival Action game. You've got you're standard quick time events when a monster starts to rip you to pieces, the whole explosions and the lot. The shooting etc appears. But it never takes over. Ever. Survival takes place more.
Over the Shoulder: Erm. Maybe I can speak about the controls? Yeah. They work. That's all I can ask for. They work and I can rest easy while tearing the monsters a new one. Left stick moves, right stick controls camera and aiming. LT redies your gun for aiming and RT does the firing. X applies a health pack and Y accesses your inventory. LB creates the run that is vital to escape and RB activates secondary weapon, EG: Mines. LT + A reloads and the best thing in this is the Zero G controls. LT + Y jumps. Thats it. LT + B Activates keninis and LT + X is your stasis. Stasis, slows stuff down making it easier to kill or pass through broken doors. As you can tell, LT is your main button. But, it might get confusing at times. Oh and RB and RT by themselves are stomp and punch respectively.
Game From EA: To be honest. This is one hell of a great game in years from the company. Seeing as Mercs and Mirror's Edge were massive flops and Far Cry 2 sort of fizzled out after a week over here in Britain, Dead Space is one of the top 5 games from the company. Yes, I am actually complimenting EA. They just nailed it right in the center of a enjoyable game. May I dare say, it matches up to Resident Evil 4? No. Don't be daft. Resident Evil 4 was the best game of the last generation.
Gore: The case has a dismembered arm. The game makes you kill the enemies by dismembering their limbs and you die in some pretty gruesome ways. How about a little bug ripping the head of and replacing it with it's own body? A giant propeller smashing you into pieces? That's just a few. You have a stomp which will just about finish off anything and slice the head off a dead body. It's just a gory ride from start to finish. Even fetuses want a bit of gore!
So, this disturbing masterpiece for the next months is given an 8/10. It's just go to point A to B and do something at B return to A and head to C. That is the basics of a mission in this game. The voice acting was decent for a horror game, but this isn't a horror game as such. Ah well, it's fun.
Friday 26 December 2008
Thursday 18 December 2008
Resident Evil Degeneration is the third best game to film ever.
Resident Evil Degeneration is your bog standard zombie thriller at heart. But it's RE, so you've got the oddities.
The film takes place between Resident Evil 4 and Resident Evil 5. I think this is to clear up what was happening to anybody else, but it sure failed at that. There are as much plot holes in this film. Bad enough the series already had plot holes the size of the grand canyon. There must be at least 4 sentences through out the thing that relate to anything that happens that links to RE5. And even one of those must be incorrect. But the setting is first the air terminal as advertised but quickly moves to some research lab.
The best thing from this film was Leon. He's just an emotionless, zombie slaying bad ass. He beats Chris. The voice actor was superb at grasping the RE4 voice, unless they brought him in, I'm not sure. But Leon is also the worst. You can see throughout, that he is as wooden as a tree, he barley moves until the last 30-25 minutes and it's just pure laziness. On the whole the animation was nice and smooth, even if the facial expressions made them look like they'd all had work done.
There isn't a lot of Leon, which dissapointed me. Theres quite a bit of Claire, who remains to be as annoying as she was back in RE2. Fun times. Theres also some new women whos brother is the main monster thing. She's got the best "see a friend die " scream ever. "GREG! GREG! GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEG!" While Leon drags her out. Greg I'm glad died. If your going to have Chris, have Chris. Not Greg. The fat bloke who's real important is the most useless side character ever and why was there only one child throughout the entire terminal?
The zombies are meant to be scary. They aren't. There just plain humorous at times. When the plane full of new zombies crashes into the terminal, there aren't any stairs or ramps to help them down. No, they fall out one by one into a pile. I was wetting myself. But, i was sad to see them last about 15 minutes throughout the film. It was fun seeing classic RE zombie rapes.
What I was shocked to find, was Resident Evil 2 references the entire time. You even get flash backs with Leon and Claire running through Raccoon City. It really is the top of fan service; Ingrid Hunnigan makes a frikin appearance! But the film is strictly for the fans. Anyone else won't get it.
This film is just a big cut scene from start to finish. Which, I have to say, has to be the best scripted cutsecene in the world of video games. The film fills out nicely through it's ninety minutes and the day is saved by Captain Wood and the annoying women who says Leon really sexy like. I give this, a, 7/10.
The film takes place between Resident Evil 4 and Resident Evil 5. I think this is to clear up what was happening to anybody else, but it sure failed at that. There are as much plot holes in this film. Bad enough the series already had plot holes the size of the grand canyon. There must be at least 4 sentences through out the thing that relate to anything that happens that links to RE5. And even one of those must be incorrect. But the setting is first the air terminal as advertised but quickly moves to some research lab.
The best thing from this film was Leon. He's just an emotionless, zombie slaying bad ass. He beats Chris. The voice actor was superb at grasping the RE4 voice, unless they brought him in, I'm not sure. But Leon is also the worst. You can see throughout, that he is as wooden as a tree, he barley moves until the last 30-25 minutes and it's just pure laziness. On the whole the animation was nice and smooth, even if the facial expressions made them look like they'd all had work done.
There isn't a lot of Leon, which dissapointed me. Theres quite a bit of Claire, who remains to be as annoying as she was back in RE2. Fun times. Theres also some new women whos brother is the main monster thing. She's got the best "see a friend die " scream ever. "GREG! GREG! GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEG!" While Leon drags her out. Greg I'm glad died. If your going to have Chris, have Chris. Not Greg. The fat bloke who's real important is the most useless side character ever and why was there only one child throughout the entire terminal?
The zombies are meant to be scary. They aren't. There just plain humorous at times. When the plane full of new zombies crashes into the terminal, there aren't any stairs or ramps to help them down. No, they fall out one by one into a pile. I was wetting myself. But, i was sad to see them last about 15 minutes throughout the film. It was fun seeing classic RE zombie rapes.
What I was shocked to find, was Resident Evil 2 references the entire time. You even get flash backs with Leon and Claire running through Raccoon City. It really is the top of fan service; Ingrid Hunnigan makes a frikin appearance! But the film is strictly for the fans. Anyone else won't get it.
This film is just a big cut scene from start to finish. Which, I have to say, has to be the best scripted cutsecene in the world of video games. The film fills out nicely through it's ninety minutes and the day is saved by Captain Wood and the annoying women who says Leon really sexy like. I give this, a, 7/10.
Sunday 14 December 2008
Halo 3 and Resistance Fall Of Man reviews. Two shooters. Just ones more awesome than the other.
Everone pretty much knows about Halo. If you haven't then, you've been living under a rock for the past 10 years. First announced for the computer as a stratedgy game, it quickly turned out Bungie and Microsct had another idea. Bungie mutated it into the epic first person shooter we know and love today.
In the game, you play as Spartan-117, Master Chief. As the opening cinematic starts, unless you didn't play Halo 2, you realize what has become of the Chief. He has been crash landing towards earth and lands in the middle of the forest. Even in the first 6 minutes, you see the true power of the machine. The cutscenes have the same graphics as in the game. You are given a test as you begin, to check your sensitivity of your aim. Though this is pointless, as it didn't make much difference later in the game.
As you travel through to the next area, I begun to notice that this was pretty linear and fast paced. This was how a shooter should be made. Some free travel but really it all leads to the same path. You are pretty immersed within the game, until a cutscene drags you into a cinematic camera. Or a turret and flamethrower. This didn't bother me to much. The dialouge is cheesy but surprisingly well written. It's all linked to the previous games and references and fimilar faces appear time a d time again., (and incase you don't, and feel left out, Wikipedia it.) Though not the best, it is pretty enthralling as you watch it unravel. (Hint! Play through on Legendary or Heroic to find a secret scene!!)
The vechle sections are pretty much the most fun Ive had in any game that allows you to drive. Movement stick accelerates and looking stick turns you about. Left trigger drifts. Speaking of controls. These controls are some of the best ever. A to jump. B to melée or detach turret, X to throw down equipment, Y to switch weapon. The right trigger shoots and left throws your grenade or fires you dual wield weapon. Left bumper changes grenades and right trigger reloads, and activates things. Feels nice in my grip and everything.
Where Halo stumbles is the short time in campaign. As epic as it is, it's too short. On normal, you can blast through it in about several hours. This is where Legendary mode comes in. Achieving completion, is one of the greatest things you can do. I'm still trying to pass the second level. It's brutal, the enimes are completly nuts and the weapons do there job. It's frantic and fun. Espically in multiplayer.
The multiplayer on this game, is the most, awesome multiplayer since Counter Strike Source. With so many ways to play, either a standard deathmatch or team capture the flag, to grifball or zombie survival. The community is full of fools and very nice guys. It's frantic and espically, it's fun.
Youve got other features such as Forge, in which you edit maps in multiplayer, or theatre mode. Got an amazing headshit that you want to show off? No matter, simply load up the file, record the moment and share it over Xbox Live. You can capture nearly any moent from single to online modes. Very fun and it's amazing what can be done with it. (Roster Teeth's Red vs Blue Internet series, DigitalPh33r's Arby 'n' the Cbief or Duex Ex Machina)
On the whole, this game is epic. As sson as that Balo theme enters, you know your in for a treat. I give this an A or a 9/10.
Resistance. In anyway you look at it, it looks perculiar. Based in a differnet universe, , (Josh Hawksworth has given me the infomation) the Russians have developed a human enhancing thing. No matter how you look at it, there aliens. You must now battle through Well know areas, (Mabchester or York anyone?) The game's controlls are pretty similar to Halos. Just on another controller. X jumps, O chucks a grenade, triangle melees, which is really awkward and poorly placed. R1 shoots, R2 changes weapons, similar to Gears Of Wars weapon changing menu, L2 crouhes and L1 I'm not to sure. It made a bang and I got confused.
Let me praise it first. The story is pretty decent, the eniems are tough and the guns are nice and in viriaty. Ok, praise over? I really didn't like this game. It was sloppy from the start. Crouch was placed on the stupid marshmellow triggers and so was weapon changing. I would want a shotgun fast, to take out these giant dogs, and my finger would slip off. If it's going to be like that, at least put the weapons on the D-Pad, since your allowed four, place one to each arrow, and flashlight on the marshmellow. The enemys were dumb. Not the concept, but how they acted. In Halo, they would throw grenades at the minor enimes to send them as suicide bombers. These would stand around in one place but in a large number. The o my time they atually did a clever thing was when I was dead and waiting a respawn. They don't die properly and just sort of bend over like a squashed banana. Health was stupid two. Your given 4 bars of health. If a bar goes down half way, it will regenerate. Once it's depleted it won't. FAir enough? No. No it isn't. Health packs are thrown at you atthe BEGINING OF THE LEVEL. After that there pretty much hard to find. There will be two placed together, but, in co-op, one player might take two. Ammo is given for liketwo guns the whole time, and the guns are stupidly, stupidly, stupidly unbalanced twarss the enemy. They can kill you in a few shots, you take nearly half a round. Wrong. Oh and don't bother with grendades.
The characters you couldn't give two hoots about. The good thing about this? You can take your friend along for the ride in a decent co-op mode.
Whats this about the PS3 having GOOD GRAPHICS? These were crap. Full stop. I failed to notice any realistic textures, any outer coulours apart dog dirt brown and greys. I found it hard to navigate. The level structure was a mishap and graphics poor most of the time. Explosions looked like a dodgy mess. Quake 2 has better explosions than that! And it was made in the 90s! This is a pathetic excuse at an fps.
Overall? A C. Multiplayer brings this up. Graphics, controls and weapons were awful and the whole thing a tedious mess.
In the game, you play as Spartan-117, Master Chief. As the opening cinematic starts, unless you didn't play Halo 2, you realize what has become of the Chief. He has been crash landing towards earth and lands in the middle of the forest. Even in the first 6 minutes, you see the true power of the machine. The cutscenes have the same graphics as in the game. You are given a test as you begin, to check your sensitivity of your aim. Though this is pointless, as it didn't make much difference later in the game.
As you travel through to the next area, I begun to notice that this was pretty linear and fast paced. This was how a shooter should be made. Some free travel but really it all leads to the same path. You are pretty immersed within the game, until a cutscene drags you into a cinematic camera. Or a turret and flamethrower. This didn't bother me to much. The dialouge is cheesy but surprisingly well written. It's all linked to the previous games and references and fimilar faces appear time a d time again., (and incase you don't, and feel left out, Wikipedia it.) Though not the best, it is pretty enthralling as you watch it unravel. (Hint! Play through on Legendary or Heroic to find a secret scene!!)
The vechle sections are pretty much the most fun Ive had in any game that allows you to drive. Movement stick accelerates and looking stick turns you about. Left trigger drifts. Speaking of controls. These controls are some of the best ever. A to jump. B to melée or detach turret, X to throw down equipment, Y to switch weapon. The right trigger shoots and left throws your grenade or fires you dual wield weapon. Left bumper changes grenades and right trigger reloads, and activates things. Feels nice in my grip and everything.
Where Halo stumbles is the short time in campaign. As epic as it is, it's too short. On normal, you can blast through it in about several hours. This is where Legendary mode comes in. Achieving completion, is one of the greatest things you can do. I'm still trying to pass the second level. It's brutal, the enimes are completly nuts and the weapons do there job. It's frantic and fun. Espically in multiplayer.
The multiplayer on this game, is the most, awesome multiplayer since Counter Strike Source. With so many ways to play, either a standard deathmatch or team capture the flag, to grifball or zombie survival. The community is full of fools and very nice guys. It's frantic and espically, it's fun.
Youve got other features such as Forge, in which you edit maps in multiplayer, or theatre mode. Got an amazing headshit that you want to show off? No matter, simply load up the file, record the moment and share it over Xbox Live. You can capture nearly any moent from single to online modes. Very fun and it's amazing what can be done with it. (Roster Teeth's Red vs Blue Internet series, DigitalPh33r's Arby 'n' the Cbief or Duex Ex Machina)
On the whole, this game is epic. As sson as that Balo theme enters, you know your in for a treat. I give this an A or a 9/10.
Resistance. In anyway you look at it, it looks perculiar. Based in a differnet universe, , (Josh Hawksworth has given me the infomation) the Russians have developed a human enhancing thing. No matter how you look at it, there aliens. You must now battle through Well know areas, (Mabchester or York anyone?) The game's controlls are pretty similar to Halos. Just on another controller. X jumps, O chucks a grenade, triangle melees, which is really awkward and poorly placed. R1 shoots, R2 changes weapons, similar to Gears Of Wars weapon changing menu, L2 crouhes and L1 I'm not to sure. It made a bang and I got confused.
Let me praise it first. The story is pretty decent, the eniems are tough and the guns are nice and in viriaty. Ok, praise over? I really didn't like this game. It was sloppy from the start. Crouch was placed on the stupid marshmellow triggers and so was weapon changing. I would want a shotgun fast, to take out these giant dogs, and my finger would slip off. If it's going to be like that, at least put the weapons on the D-Pad, since your allowed four, place one to each arrow, and flashlight on the marshmellow. The enemys were dumb. Not the concept, but how they acted. In Halo, they would throw grenades at the minor enimes to send them as suicide bombers. These would stand around in one place but in a large number. The o my time they atually did a clever thing was when I was dead and waiting a respawn. They don't die properly and just sort of bend over like a squashed banana. Health was stupid two. Your given 4 bars of health. If a bar goes down half way, it will regenerate. Once it's depleted it won't. FAir enough? No. No it isn't. Health packs are thrown at you atthe BEGINING OF THE LEVEL. After that there pretty much hard to find. There will be two placed together, but, in co-op, one player might take two. Ammo is given for liketwo guns the whole time, and the guns are stupidly, stupidly, stupidly unbalanced twarss the enemy. They can kill you in a few shots, you take nearly half a round. Wrong. Oh and don't bother with grendades.
The characters you couldn't give two hoots about. The good thing about this? You can take your friend along for the ride in a decent co-op mode.
Whats this about the PS3 having GOOD GRAPHICS? These were crap. Full stop. I failed to notice any realistic textures, any outer coulours apart dog dirt brown and greys. I found it hard to navigate. The level structure was a mishap and graphics poor most of the time. Explosions looked like a dodgy mess. Quake 2 has better explosions than that! And it was made in the 90s! This is a pathetic excuse at an fps.
Overall? A C. Multiplayer brings this up. Graphics, controls and weapons were awful and the whole thing a tedious mess.
Ok, here's my low down on the console war: PS3 VS XBOX 360
So it seems my iPod can only type on this setting....
Let's start with the pros of both consoles.
Xbox:
- Brilliant graphics
- Decent backlog of games
- Many exclusive titles, (Halo, Gears of War)
- Connectivity with your Windows PC for multimedia. (Media Center)
- Nice, comfortable controller
- Easy to use interface
- Xbox Live is infinatly the better service at the moment
- Nice community within online games
- Ability to use MSN within your games
- Powerful Machine
Playstation 3:
- Brilliant Graphics
- Light controller, easy to use
- Little Big Planet
- Nice interface
- Bluetooth
- Able to hold memory on M2 cards
- Blu-Ray
- In-built browser
The cons:
Xbox:
- Red Ring Of Death
- No unbuilt browser
- No Little Big Planet
- Controllers d-pad is pretty much useless at times
- Stupid idiots who scream into their microphones
- Noisey
- Gets hot
-
Playstation 3:
- Not enough decent games
- Not enough exclusives, seeing as it's lost Final Fantasy 13, it's next big thing...
- Six-axis is pretty much stupid to be honest. When in GTA did you use it?
- Game developers have to take longer due to blu-ray
- The blu-ray can hold more stuff is stupid, by the time the blu-ray graphics are in, the extra space is redundent.
- It costs too much still.
- Backwards comparability was it's most greatest feature, the newer models no longer have it. Time to buy or dig out your PS2?
- Silly idiots online
- No proper community
- Bluetooth headset is rather idiotic of them. Why not take Miffosofts idea and have it wired and come with the package?
- Its bloody huge!
Now you may be wondering, "Wheres Xbox Live costs?!" Well no, it's a stupid argument. Most people are willing to pay 40 pounds for a year. It's not going to kill most, hard working citizens. But then again, if I wanted to play a game, I'd play the Orange Box on my PC.
Final verdict; until PSN can pick itself up, Xbox Live beats it. Until Microsoft realize that they need to check for bugs in the console, the Playststions reliablity is still not intact either. They too malfunction.
If you want to play games, and proper games, not FIFA, like Gears Of War or Halo, buy the Xbox, it's cheap and good money.
Want a home cinema system/ multimedia center pick up a PS3, there just too little games at the moment.
Oh, and if you want, pick up a good gaming PC for online play. Rumour is, PSN could be charging soon. There's money to be had!
Let's start with the pros of both consoles.
Xbox:
- Brilliant graphics
- Decent backlog of games
- Many exclusive titles, (Halo, Gears of War)
- Connectivity with your Windows PC for multimedia. (Media Center)
- Nice, comfortable controller
- Easy to use interface
- Xbox Live is infinatly the better service at the moment
- Nice community within online games
- Ability to use MSN within your games
- Powerful Machine
Playstation 3:
- Brilliant Graphics
- Light controller, easy to use
- Little Big Planet
- Nice interface
- Bluetooth
- Able to hold memory on M2 cards
- Blu-Ray
- In-built browser
The cons:
Xbox:
- Red Ring Of Death
- No unbuilt browser
- No Little Big Planet
- Controllers d-pad is pretty much useless at times
- Stupid idiots who scream into their microphones
- Noisey
- Gets hot
-
Playstation 3:
- Not enough decent games
- Not enough exclusives, seeing as it's lost Final Fantasy 13, it's next big thing...
- Six-axis is pretty much stupid to be honest. When in GTA did you use it?
- Game developers have to take longer due to blu-ray
- The blu-ray can hold more stuff is stupid, by the time the blu-ray graphics are in, the extra space is redundent.
- It costs too much still.
- Backwards comparability was it's most greatest feature, the newer models no longer have it. Time to buy or dig out your PS2?
- Silly idiots online
- No proper community
- Bluetooth headset is rather idiotic of them. Why not take Miffosofts idea and have it wired and come with the package?
- Its bloody huge!
Now you may be wondering, "Wheres Xbox Live costs?!" Well no, it's a stupid argument. Most people are willing to pay 40 pounds for a year. It's not going to kill most, hard working citizens. But then again, if I wanted to play a game, I'd play the Orange Box on my PC.
Final verdict; until PSN can pick itself up, Xbox Live beats it. Until Microsoft realize that they need to check for bugs in the console, the Playststions reliablity is still not intact either. They too malfunction.
If you want to play games, and proper games, not FIFA, like Gears Of War or Halo, buy the Xbox, it's cheap and good money.
Want a home cinema system/ multimedia center pick up a PS3, there just too little games at the moment.
Oh, and if you want, pick up a good gaming PC for online play. Rumour is, PSN could be charging soon. There's money to be had!
Friday 12 December 2008
Fable || was awesome!
I love this game to pieces. It's charming and fun.
In the game you start off as a boy or girl and find a magic box to grant you a wish with your sister. Your sister is then shot dead and the game starts.
During the course of the game, you will be accompinied by your faithful dog. This dog is easy to get attached to. It helps you find treasures, (Even if it is a condom....) helps you to fight and be your friend.
You also get to choose wheter you will be a nice, fun loving guy or the eviliest twat in exsistance. Your choices within the game affect your looks and how people treat you. If your a good guy, merchants will lower there prices and if your evil, vice versa.
I chose to be a nasty, ruthless killer, with several dead wives and all the guards after me because i killed over 500 people. This is fun but has it's consequences.
You can also get get married and have kids. This is a bad idea unless you plan to visit them every day. Save this feature till the end as it gets rather irritating being whined at by the kiddies because you don't visit.
Spells and guns have no limit. This keeps the action fast and the 3 buttons, (X for melee, Y for ranged wepons and B for spells.) The more you vary or concentrate on these the more you character will change. You spells a lot and white viens will show up on your body.
Expirence points arn't earned like in WoW or Pokemon, if you kill someone, blue, green, yellow or red orbs scatter the area and these will go toward your next spell or skill or even physique.
The charming aspect comes from all this, because it is so fun. The characters, are very life like and charming. Even if they do repeat themselves over time. The action is fast paced and comes in short bursts and having a sexy time with several people, is rather funny.
You earn achievments when you play with your dog, so just try everything with the dog and you'll rack up about 30 points in a matter of minutes.
CO-OP is generally solid and has all the great qualities of what co-op should be. Player 1 takes the lead and player 2 just stands around waiting to fight. Player 2 gets all your abilities and their own expirence and gold. Friend has to go? Never mind, you get all the loot. I found after an hour of play with my brother, I'd earned about 10,000 gold from it.
Now I mentioned the consequences. These arn't at all probalmatic and nothing a few farts can sort out. Things you will find are that prices go up, people run away from you and you start to look different. EG: My guy ended up with horns and grey skin. The dog just look a right mess.
Now. This game might be fun, but their is always a catch. LionHead didn't atually debug it. (IF YOU GET THE PATCH, IT SHOULD RUN FINE) But for those Xbox Liveless, are taking a gamble. You could get no picture, the abbot doesn't respond, the people don't respond, no sales or other events or time can stand still. So if your at night time, and time freezes, you can't do a blasted thing about it. You cant do anything, no shops etc.
Overall? I give this a 10/10. Brilliant, fun and very amusing. Even if it does have a few bad points. Like the blond in your school, who had the real big boobs, but she had a few spots. She had a huge rack though.
Thursday 11 December 2008
Crimbo! Games! Top 10! Puppies! Updates! Reading! Oh MY!
Ok, you got a console or computer? Play games? Read and learn.
Top 10 Games to buy this Christmas!
1) Little Big Planet (PS3)
2) Fable 2 (Xbox 360)
3) The Orange Box (PC, Xbox 360 and PS3)
4) Call Of Duty worl At War (Pc, Xbox 360, PS3, Wii, DS, PS2)
5) Fallout 3 (PC, Ps3, Xbox 360)
6) Duke Nukem 3D (PC, Xbox Live Arcade)
7) Halo 3 (Xbox 360)
8) Guitar Hero 4/ Rock Band (Xbox 360, PS3, Wii, PS2)
9) Left 4 Dead (PC, Xbox 360)
10) Dead Space (PS3, Xbox 360, PC)
Top 6 Games to look forward to:
1) Duke Nukem Forever (When it's done, PC)
2) Half Life Episode 3 ( 2010 PC, Xbox 360, PS3)
3) Street Fighter 4 (2009, Xbox 360, PS3)
4) Resident Evil 5 (13.3.09 Xbox 360, PS3)
5) Tekken 6 (September 09, Xbox 360, PS3)
6) Halo 3: Recon (2009 Xbox 360)
Updates:
Resident Evil 5 looks like Gear of War.
Duke Nukem Forever won't be coming out yet.
Half Life episode 3 won't be out till about 2010. (New Source engine and all.)
Left 4 Dead was modded on 360 instead of the much simpler PC.
Little Big Planet is awesome because it has Stephen Fry.
Grand Theft Auto 4 is getting new missions and character.
Grand Theft Auto Chinatown wars is for DS.
Dead Space isn't scary.
Metal gear could be coming out for 360.
PUPPIES!
Tuesday 9 December 2008
Thursday 4 December 2008
Just some new and an update...
I'm ill. as I type this update, I'm sick to my stomach and only eaten a butter sandwhich. I do hope I get better. Need to nag peoples.
I felt rather disappointed with the replayabiluty value of COD5. Apart from the Nazi Zombies and online play, I hardly find the need to play through on a harder difficulty. The only thing I can think of is co-op with my brother in a few weeks time or Live co-op. Or pick up COD4, seeing as its all the same engine.
The big games have come out and gone. Does this generation have ADD or a memory loss?
FIFA 09, is the same game but with a bit of polish. Footie Manager 09 finally relasied we want online play and 3-D. But seeing as soem of my friends are complete idiots and don't listen to me, can't play it propally. YOU NEED STEAM YOU IGNORANT DICKS.
Gear 2, I've covered this, but the only people I notice playing are frat boys with a fancy for sports and violence. Oh and macho men looking for wives. (WWWWWWWWWWWHEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY WWWWWWWWWWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE???????????????????)
Mirrors Edge just sucked balls.
Prince Of Persia apparently doesn't have a game over screen.
Guitar Hero is improving it's back catalouge of games.
Rock Band helps sell more of The Who. Did you knw that when The Who put the album on, it sold more than any other.
NXE is pretty desent. (If only I could spell it.)
PSN is filled with rich frat boys; I can't find a single person to socialise with who doesn't ask for a game of FIFA.
LittleBigPlanet is probably my most wanted game to play. I don't own a PS3 because I'd much rather by a neat little PC from this site: www.computerplanet.co.uk
On this fasinating site, they build your PC that you spec. I'm tempted to sell this laptop to my dad for a reasonable price. It has 3gb of ram, 1.81 ghz and AMD Turion 64 x 2 with a nVIDIA graphics card. Oh I sound a geek...
And a shout out to Ariella, whos going in for an operation at this time and place. Get better soooooooooon!
Joel.
Monday 1 December 2008
*SPOILERS* Call of Duty: World At War is possibly the best WW2 game ever
CoD5 is my favourite game on Xbox at the moment. Just a few hours ago I completed the epic and realistic story campaign. I was intrigued by Treyarch's choice to cover other areas of World War 2, but not the British areas. I guess this was a good choice really, seeing as this will always lead to D-Day.
You are pitted through the Japanese jungles and Germany's burning streets. Let's start with the American part of the campaign. When you first start, you are the cheesey, over macho Americans. Just to go off topic... WHY DO THE AMERICANS ALWAYS SOUND OVER MACHO AND ON STEROIDS? COME OFF IT!
So the Japanese are very different to any other enemy in a war game. They'll climb trees and snipe you, they'll go into spider holes and pop out when least expected and kick you onto your back and attempt to stab you. This is like the games version of Quick Time events. you have to stab the right stick in as soon as it pops up. This is a little flawed as, it doesn't always work when you want it to. But, thankfully, this doesn't happen to much as you have them dead before it happens.
You jump to the Russian areas of the game through very informative videos of WW2. These are the best parts of the game; because you can believe it. You wake to find yourself as Dimitri, a man who just cheated death as the Nazi's scour the area for surviors to kill. Your given a sniper rifle to take out a general. This is very tense, as if you screw it up, the enemy knows your where abouts. (HINT: HE'S ON THE LEFT HAND SIDE.)
So, moving on from really macho men and rather emotinally moving Russians to weapons. The COD4 fanatics are really going to hate the choice. But, Treyarch did the right thing. They researched the rate of fire, the power and the feel. The only weapon that will make them happy is the shotguns. But, to be honest, they appear twice and don't last that long. I did enjoy them, blasting a german into two with a sawed off. Now. Children, the flamethrower is the best weapon in the game. You can kill everyone with a single blast. It never runs out, it clears everyone out of the way. That. Isn't. What. I. Wanted. Might be fun at first, but it becomes stupidly overpowered and unless your on the hardest difficulty, your going to find the American levels a breeze. See, on harder difficulties, the enemy will continue to fire through the blaze.
There is one vehicular level through out the game, and a good one that couldn't be topped without being repeptive. Your a tank. You blow stuff up. Good enough for me.
So, a WW2 that is different and continues to be so much fun online and the unlockable mode, NAZI ZOMBIES! When you unlock it, 50s style writing for a film comes up and your pitted agianst hordes of zombies. Build barriers and try to live for as long as possoible. It is very much the best thing to add to an epic game. An epic mini game. Though the depth is shallow, it can last you hours trying to top your scores.
And to conclude this review of COD5:WAT, I give it a 9/10. It was to short for my liking and multiplayer might not last me long enough until i go back and pick up Call of Duty 4.
SPECIAL EDITION COSTS AN EXTRA 10 POUNDS, GIVING YOU A TIN, CANTEEN AND A GUN THAT YOU MUST UNLOCK STRAIGHT AWAY.
Saturday 22 November 2008
Mirrors Edge sucked. Hands Down.
Mirrors Edge; one good looking turd. It had the potential to set a new standard for games. But it failed. It jumped a building too high to reach. And fell. And went splat on the pavement.
Ok lets start with the good points. The graphics push the XBox to the full potential. It's bold and theres no browns or greys of the next generation. To add to the looks, the cartoon cutscenes have a very nice feel to them, can be humurous and well drawn.
It's innovitive. That's the bottom line. It was an expirement that needs just a little extra to make it the game we want.
And dropping from the good to the absolute poor. HOHOHO!
Just to say, I had this on rental, and as usual, i get rather far before I have to hand it back. I played it for 3 days. Not consecutivly, but over a week and completed it within 6 hours. 6 HOURS. 6?! That is pathetic. Even the time trails couldn't bring me back for the last day before handing back time. What's the point? None. I enjoyed the begginging, when you jump onto a helicopter. Very exciting. READER. SPOILER ALERT. SPOILER ALERT. (Mind you theres no story to spoil :P) WHY DID THEY FUCKING PUT IT AT THE END?! SCREW YOU!
I also hated the combat. You were over powered the entire time. Your punches would do no damage unless you spam. There was no tactics involved. And theres an achievment for not firing a gun? Let me tell you now, it can only be unlocked during the training or the first mission.
Theres no story, it gets repetitive and I hate it so much, I can't bear to write about it. It was horrible, the only way you could turn around fast enough is by turning up the sensitivity. Hmm. Well. I give this game a D+. Poor. Very Poor.
Ok lets start with the good points. The graphics push the XBox to the full potential. It's bold and theres no browns or greys of the next generation. To add to the looks, the cartoon cutscenes have a very nice feel to them, can be humurous and well drawn.
It's innovitive. That's the bottom line. It was an expirement that needs just a little extra to make it the game we want.
And dropping from the good to the absolute poor. HOHOHO!
Just to say, I had this on rental, and as usual, i get rather far before I have to hand it back. I played it for 3 days. Not consecutivly, but over a week and completed it within 6 hours. 6 HOURS. 6?! That is pathetic. Even the time trails couldn't bring me back for the last day before handing back time. What's the point? None. I enjoyed the begginging, when you jump onto a helicopter. Very exciting. READER. SPOILER ALERT. SPOILER ALERT. (Mind you theres no story to spoil :P) WHY DID THEY FUCKING PUT IT AT THE END?! SCREW YOU!
I also hated the combat. You were over powered the entire time. Your punches would do no damage unless you spam. There was no tactics involved. And theres an achievment for not firing a gun? Let me tell you now, it can only be unlocked during the training or the first mission.
Theres no story, it gets repetitive and I hate it so much, I can't bear to write about it. It was horrible, the only way you could turn around fast enough is by turning up the sensitivity. Hmm. Well. I give this game a D+. Poor. Very Poor.
Sunday 16 November 2008
Lets rock! (GH4 REVIEW! AT LAST!)
Thursday, 6th of November:
"Hello, this is Gamestation, Manchester, how can I help you?"
"Yeah, I'm just phoning about Guitar Hero 4, I've had it on preorder fro about a month, and its been delayed twice already, can you tell me; is it out tomorrow?"
"No sorry, we got the wrong date."
"You've lied to me again?"
"Sorry sir."
*CLICK*
Thursday 13th of November
"Is it in tomorrow?"
"No, we got told the drums were faulty."
"Oh, right, keep it on order for me..."
"Goodbye."
Firday, 14th of November
"Hello, Gamestation."
"You fucking liars. I'm fed up with your service. Game have just delivered my friends copy of the flipping game!"
"Yeah, we only got ours in last night..."
"LAST FUCKING NIGHT, YOU TOLD ME, ITS DELAYED!"
"Sorry sir..."
"I won't be coming again."
"No sir...*CLICK*"
So I went and scoured Manchester for GH4. And Blockbusters, I reccommend. I got it 50 pounds cheaper, full band and everything. Let us dive in.
Ok, from the announcment made back in early 2008, I was on the Guitar Hero band wagon. I had number 3 and 2. I was waiting for the DS version. (I now have a crippled hand.) I was excited. I was hyped. I had played Rock Band. The two games are on par.
So, this is for Wii. And yes, the graphics suffer, but, in reality, do you look at the guys chuggiing along? NO! Your looking at the frikin colours and notes! (I'm baring a grudge against IGN for even bringing that up.) Yes, Rock Band has the upper hand on animation, but GHWT is a different style. On Wii, it looks good, not fantastic, but good. And that, my friends, is good enough for me. The only time you do look at them, is while your waiting for it to start, during a boss battle when they do there thing, and when a celeb comes on. That is the only times.
The songs are solid enough for everyone, none with too much drums or guitar or singing. Everyone will be emphasising on the "UMPH!" of Van Halen, I know my family have. But I was put off when Bon Jovi came on. Me and my dad arn't exactly the biggest of fans.
The instruments are fantastic, but, theres a catch. The guitar now has a slider thingy, which you uses during specific solos, where the notes look metallic. You then proceed down the fret board to these touch buttons, screwing up your note streaks or putting you in the red zone. They can sense static electricity on the fingers or dont work fast enough. There too rough to. At times when you've come out of a long song, and your sliding away, it can begin to hurt. The drums have gameplay issues. (THIS IS MY COPY, SOME WILL HAVE OTHER PROBLEMS OR NONE AT ALL.) The red pad doesn't respond all the time. I have to literally smack it with all my might to get some responce. If you are having problems, please, click this link: http://www.pcworld.com/article/153260/guitar_hero_drum_fix.html?tk=rss_news
Other than this, the microphone works really well.
Playing in a band is awesome. It feels more realistic than RB. People have been complaining about the "1 fail all fail" system. If Slash fucked up his solo, and then Axel proceeded to fuck up on his lines, you'd boo them off. The whole band would lose money and fans and have live in Slash's hat. But, it's rare someone will fail, as long as they know what there doing. The Band meter is situated in the top corner and is clumsily scrunched up. It can be difficult to read, but the singer isn't always singing, get them to check now and again. I also like how they've added the new fashion; having star power in star power mode. It's dead handy.
The career is like any other GH, play, move on. It might seem linear, but the added boss battles are always good fun. And now, you don't have to worry about fans, in case you have someone who sucks, you can rest with ease that your fans will desert you, because it's not even in the game! But I do miss the rewards at the end, apart from the unlockables you get, I still wanted to win a bus. Ah well, you can't have it all.
The creation mode is beyond impressive. I've got a bright blue, body builder and a flying V with a dragon on. My band's logo, is a monkey with a guitar. Now that's creation for you. The Wii exclusive, Mii Freestyle is pretty cool too. It can help you out with the tricky solos, and positioning of fingers. The music creator is fun too, but takes a learning curve to get a good song. Also some patience. Theres a song on mine with all five buttons being played at the smae time for 5 minutes. AND GUESS WHAT? Nintendo's new, Pay&Play is revield through the power of Downloadable content. Is all good.
So, what do I make of it? A* , *****, 9/10 etc etc! This is worth every penny. But I wanted to sing DRAGONFORCE....
I will do a review for Mirrors Edge soon. Its great so far!
"Hello, this is Gamestation, Manchester, how can I help you?"
"Yeah, I'm just phoning about Guitar Hero 4, I've had it on preorder fro about a month, and its been delayed twice already, can you tell me; is it out tomorrow?"
"No sorry, we got the wrong date."
"You've lied to me again?"
"Sorry sir."
*CLICK*
Thursday 13th of November
"Is it in tomorrow?"
"No, we got told the drums were faulty."
"Oh, right, keep it on order for me..."
"Goodbye."
Firday, 14th of November
"Hello, Gamestation."
"You fucking liars. I'm fed up with your service. Game have just delivered my friends copy of the flipping game!"
"Yeah, we only got ours in last night..."
"LAST FUCKING NIGHT, YOU TOLD ME, ITS DELAYED!"
"Sorry sir..."
"I won't be coming again."
"No sir...*CLICK*"
So I went and scoured Manchester for GH4. And Blockbusters, I reccommend. I got it 50 pounds cheaper, full band and everything. Let us dive in.
Ok, from the announcment made back in early 2008, I was on the Guitar Hero band wagon. I had number 3 and 2. I was waiting for the DS version. (I now have a crippled hand.) I was excited. I was hyped. I had played Rock Band. The two games are on par.
So, this is for Wii. And yes, the graphics suffer, but, in reality, do you look at the guys chuggiing along? NO! Your looking at the frikin colours and notes! (I'm baring a grudge against IGN for even bringing that up.) Yes, Rock Band has the upper hand on animation, but GHWT is a different style. On Wii, it looks good, not fantastic, but good. And that, my friends, is good enough for me. The only time you do look at them, is while your waiting for it to start, during a boss battle when they do there thing, and when a celeb comes on. That is the only times.
The songs are solid enough for everyone, none with too much drums or guitar or singing. Everyone will be emphasising on the "UMPH!" of Van Halen, I know my family have. But I was put off when Bon Jovi came on. Me and my dad arn't exactly the biggest of fans.
The instruments are fantastic, but, theres a catch. The guitar now has a slider thingy, which you uses during specific solos, where the notes look metallic. You then proceed down the fret board to these touch buttons, screwing up your note streaks or putting you in the red zone. They can sense static electricity on the fingers or dont work fast enough. There too rough to. At times when you've come out of a long song, and your sliding away, it can begin to hurt. The drums have gameplay issues. (THIS IS MY COPY, SOME WILL HAVE OTHER PROBLEMS OR NONE AT ALL.) The red pad doesn't respond all the time. I have to literally smack it with all my might to get some responce. If you are having problems, please, click this link: http://www.pcworld.com/article/153260/guitar_hero_drum_fix.html?tk=rss_news
Other than this, the microphone works really well.
Playing in a band is awesome. It feels more realistic than RB. People have been complaining about the "1 fail all fail" system. If Slash fucked up his solo, and then Axel proceeded to fuck up on his lines, you'd boo them off. The whole band would lose money and fans and have live in Slash's hat. But, it's rare someone will fail, as long as they know what there doing. The Band meter is situated in the top corner and is clumsily scrunched up. It can be difficult to read, but the singer isn't always singing, get them to check now and again. I also like how they've added the new fashion; having star power in star power mode. It's dead handy.
The career is like any other GH, play, move on. It might seem linear, but the added boss battles are always good fun. And now, you don't have to worry about fans, in case you have someone who sucks, you can rest with ease that your fans will desert you, because it's not even in the game! But I do miss the rewards at the end, apart from the unlockables you get, I still wanted to win a bus. Ah well, you can't have it all.
The creation mode is beyond impressive. I've got a bright blue, body builder and a flying V with a dragon on. My band's logo, is a monkey with a guitar. Now that's creation for you. The Wii exclusive, Mii Freestyle is pretty cool too. It can help you out with the tricky solos, and positioning of fingers. The music creator is fun too, but takes a learning curve to get a good song. Also some patience. Theres a song on mine with all five buttons being played at the smae time for 5 minutes. AND GUESS WHAT? Nintendo's new, Pay&Play is revield through the power of Downloadable content. Is all good.
So, what do I make of it? A* , *****, 9/10 etc etc! This is worth every penny. But I wanted to sing DRAGONFORCE....
I will do a review for Mirrors Edge soon. Its great so far!
Thursday 13 November 2008
I hate people. (Part one)
RANTING TIME! TRANSFORM AND ROLL OUT!
And so here we are, back to my favourite thing. Hating people.
I hate nosey people. "Why you getting plans for a conservatry?", "Wkill it go onto my drive?"
NO DAMN IT! THE COUNCIL ARE THERE TO MAKE SURE I DOESN'T HAPPEN.
I hate the girls in my year, (OR GRADE!) who do stupid poses for the camera for Facebook. WE GET IT! YOU HAVE BOOBS!
I hate my teachers. Sons of bitches that need to get a life. Except for one, me and him had a long talk about video games. (How cool?)
No, I have notrhing to talk about. I hate you.
And so here we are, back to my favourite thing. Hating people.
I hate nosey people. "Why you getting plans for a conservatry?", "Wkill it go onto my drive?"
NO DAMN IT! THE COUNCIL ARE THERE TO MAKE SURE I DOESN'T HAPPEN.
I hate the girls in my year, (OR GRADE!) who do stupid poses for the camera for Facebook. WE GET IT! YOU HAVE BOOBS!
I hate my teachers. Sons of bitches that need to get a life. Except for one, me and him had a long talk about video games. (How cool?)
No, I have notrhing to talk about. I hate you.
Saturday 8 November 2008
Far Cry 2 is pretty cool!
So, Far Cry 2. Big action FPS. And the emphisis on the action. And big. And FIRST PERSON. In the game you're completly immersed in the game, apart form a few huds. From the start, to the end. And I'm no way near the end.
So, controls. (Get this, we're being snazzy.)
It's your standard FPS, the controls do their job. I'm happy. Though the driving is slightly irritating. Guess it's what I call, "Halo-Driving-Syndrome." Because, I'm always looking around when it's not needed, and because of the sensitivity soemtimes, it starts to go everywhere!
Gameplay/Story:
In the game, you are out to kill a guy. He's called the Jackal. Now he has loads of henchmen ect.
The only gripe i have with it is, the crap story line and the slowness of the beggining. Only half way through the game does it pick up and slap you in the face, give you a Red Bull and a coffee and kicks you out the door.
There's also diamonds. And you use the screen hogging map, to find these with DIAMOND TRACKING GPS! I WANT ONE! It's a unique way to earn money, instead of being handed it every time. I also approve of the Buddy System. If you make a a friend, they go on the buddy list and can be used to help you survive. So I died, and suddenly my guy wakes up to find this guy drag him to saftey! How cools that?
The map editor isn't exactly ground breaking but is a hell of a lot of fun.
I love how the game gives you a flame thrower at the start. A little taste of whats to come I suppose. (So far, I've done most of the game with a shotty, flamethrower and a pistol. The Machete is bollocks.)
The NPCs are outstanding. They chatter, they do there job if you anger them and they have amzing skills. They can shoot you from a mile away, and get your health half down. I can't fault that. But I read a few reviews, (IGN I'M LOOKING AT YOU...) That said, they don't get harder as you progress. They don't need to. If your in this situation in real life, you don't see them turning into big muscly men with an RPG, and a flashing weak spot. Fucktards.
To add to great weapons, a medicore story and a bunch of great ideas, wait for the rest of the review.
Sound
It's pretty much just there. It goes all crazy when in trouble etc. The voice acting is beyond the standard needed. So good.
Graphics
I'm reviewing of the XBOX version, and I saw the PC version at a friends. There identical. The PS3 version, I haven't seen, but heard it's pretty much the same to. They squeeze everything from what they can get. It's totally awesome. Though, underwater is to murkey. The night is pitch black, the day is brighter than Britian. It's africa alright. But, if it is Africa, why isn't anyone black or sunburnt? I mean theres a few scattered black people; WHERE ARE THEY YOU RASISTS!
Conclusion
I hope you enjoyed this little change. I know I hated it. Never agian. But I think for this game, it was suited. The game was enjoyable so far, it has a nice varied change in gameplay; driving is fun to do, but tedious. The controls work for shooting and the difficulty is realistic. Well worth the buy. 9/10.
So, controls. (Get this, we're being snazzy.)
It's your standard FPS, the controls do their job. I'm happy. Though the driving is slightly irritating. Guess it's what I call, "Halo-Driving-Syndrome." Because, I'm always looking around when it's not needed, and because of the sensitivity soemtimes, it starts to go everywhere!
Gameplay/Story:
In the game, you are out to kill a guy. He's called the Jackal. Now he has loads of henchmen ect.
The only gripe i have with it is, the crap story line and the slowness of the beggining. Only half way through the game does it pick up and slap you in the face, give you a Red Bull and a coffee and kicks you out the door.
There's also diamonds. And you use the screen hogging map, to find these with DIAMOND TRACKING GPS! I WANT ONE! It's a unique way to earn money, instead of being handed it every time. I also approve of the Buddy System. If you make a a friend, they go on the buddy list and can be used to help you survive. So I died, and suddenly my guy wakes up to find this guy drag him to saftey! How cools that?
The map editor isn't exactly ground breaking but is a hell of a lot of fun.
I love how the game gives you a flame thrower at the start. A little taste of whats to come I suppose. (So far, I've done most of the game with a shotty, flamethrower and a pistol. The Machete is bollocks.)
The NPCs are outstanding. They chatter, they do there job if you anger them and they have amzing skills. They can shoot you from a mile away, and get your health half down. I can't fault that. But I read a few reviews, (IGN I'M LOOKING AT YOU...) That said, they don't get harder as you progress. They don't need to. If your in this situation in real life, you don't see them turning into big muscly men with an RPG, and a flashing weak spot. Fucktards.
To add to great weapons, a medicore story and a bunch of great ideas, wait for the rest of the review.
Sound
It's pretty much just there. It goes all crazy when in trouble etc. The voice acting is beyond the standard needed. So good.
Graphics
I'm reviewing of the XBOX version, and I saw the PC version at a friends. There identical. The PS3 version, I haven't seen, but heard it's pretty much the same to. They squeeze everything from what they can get. It's totally awesome. Though, underwater is to murkey. The night is pitch black, the day is brighter than Britian. It's africa alright. But, if it is Africa, why isn't anyone black or sunburnt? I mean theres a few scattered black people; WHERE ARE THEY YOU RASISTS!
Conclusion
I hope you enjoyed this little change. I know I hated it. Never agian. But I think for this game, it was suited. The game was enjoyable so far, it has a nice varied change in gameplay; driving is fun to do, but tedious. The controls work for shooting and the difficulty is realistic. Well worth the buy. 9/10.
Friday 7 November 2008
The French don't get how Britiain works. (I hate the French Part |||)
So we went on the trip today. And because it was to a libary in Manchester, (How exciting are we?) and we took the metro tram, its like an over ground subway service. It was full of people going to work and everything, yet the French stick was going round asking strangers to move. Ok, point one; the British don't give up their seats for strangers barring the elderly and preggerz.
Just off point for a few seconds; don't go to central libary for tourist visit. ITS BORING! So old and tatty.
Anyway. On the way back, she decided to take her phone out, sat down next to my friend and started to take pictures of the two of them. He didn't look best pleased. So there she was holding this very posh, LG Viewty and some thug was staring at her. I said, "Sit down, now! In Britian, we don't work like that, anyones gonna mug you at any point!" She sat down and told me, "Why do I sit down?" I just stared in amazment. WOW, I hate you.
Just off point for a few seconds; don't go to central libary for tourist visit. ITS BORING! So old and tatty.
Anyway. On the way back, she decided to take her phone out, sat down next to my friend and started to take pictures of the two of them. He didn't look best pleased. So there she was holding this very posh, LG Viewty and some thug was staring at her. I said, "Sit down, now! In Britian, we don't work like that, anyones gonna mug you at any point!" She sat down and told me, "Why do I sit down?" I just stared in amazment. WOW, I hate you.
Thursday 6 November 2008
Games rant, (I hate buggy games.)
Don't you? Todays games are littered with them. Even top selling game, Mercs 2 was filled with glitches. You cpould drop from the highest tower in the game, land, have 2 hit points left and still get up to do it all over again. But the thing was, YOU ALWAYS LAND ON 2 HEALTH! No way around it. Ah well, it's a hell of a lot of fun.
I booted up Duke 64 the other day. What i found was, that, I could see through walls, and being rather confused on the hardest difficulty, i wasted my shotgun just shooting a wall! I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW! I just thought that, it was a hard setting, so, hard eniemes. I soon gave up on it and played the superior PC version.
I also got Gears 2. I soon returned it. I did the same with Gears 1 back in 2007. They are not my sort of games. I just can't grasp the controls, let alone the dire story and cheesey acting. Though i give it an A star for effort. It is different. Even if it slightly homosexual in a wierd way, it's different and I'm sure it works a charm; my brain can't figure the controls out. I'm not used to the A button mapped to most actions, even Resi 4, with it's similar control scheme, I found more thrilling. Chainsaw-wielding gay men isn't my bag. Chainsaw-wielding Spaniards is where my party is at. I give it a 4/10.
So, I played a bit of EA's Dead Space at a friends house and I have to say, it's bloody fantastic. But gore doesn't count as horror. talking of EA, Mirrors Edge demo came out, and having watched it for a while in the news etc, i was thrilled to be able to try it out. And I'm glad to say; it's not a dissapointment. It works well, the controls are mapped correctly, the weapons, being not the main aspect, and only having about 5 minutes on the whole with one, arn't the greatest. They don't feel that oomph. But it's not a FPS; it's a FPAPS, if you don't know, thats a First Person Adventure Platform Shooter. Oh yes, if this was 2-D it be like the original Duke Nukems with Sonic and Mario thrown in. It's just great and hope to see more like this from EA.
Sonic... I couldn't care for anymore. I don't want a "WEREHOG". I want Sonic The Hedgehog we all used to know. Not this... watered down, 3-D crap. I mean, I can live with the 2.5-D sections, they look fucking awesome. But the WEREHOG sections look like SOnic Adventure 2 on Gamecube. AND THAT WAS GOD AWFULLY AWFUL! Though throwing Choas around was a hell of a lot of fun. TAKE THAT YOU LITTLE FUCK-TARDS! HAHAHA!
How did we come onto this? I was speaking about buggy games! Well I guess the above games are slightly buggy. Ah well, I got everything off my chest that I wanted.
Joel.
PS: Shadow the Hedgehog doesn't even count as a game anymore.
I booted up Duke 64 the other day. What i found was, that, I could see through walls, and being rather confused on the hardest difficulty, i wasted my shotgun just shooting a wall! I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW! I just thought that, it was a hard setting, so, hard eniemes. I soon gave up on it and played the superior PC version.
I also got Gears 2. I soon returned it. I did the same with Gears 1 back in 2007. They are not my sort of games. I just can't grasp the controls, let alone the dire story and cheesey acting. Though i give it an A star for effort. It is different. Even if it slightly homosexual in a wierd way, it's different and I'm sure it works a charm; my brain can't figure the controls out. I'm not used to the A button mapped to most actions, even Resi 4, with it's similar control scheme, I found more thrilling. Chainsaw-wielding gay men isn't my bag. Chainsaw-wielding Spaniards is where my party is at. I give it a 4/10.
So, I played a bit of EA's Dead Space at a friends house and I have to say, it's bloody fantastic. But gore doesn't count as horror. talking of EA, Mirrors Edge demo came out, and having watched it for a while in the news etc, i was thrilled to be able to try it out. And I'm glad to say; it's not a dissapointment. It works well, the controls are mapped correctly, the weapons, being not the main aspect, and only having about 5 minutes on the whole with one, arn't the greatest. They don't feel that oomph. But it's not a FPS; it's a FPAPS, if you don't know, thats a First Person Adventure Platform Shooter. Oh yes, if this was 2-D it be like the original Duke Nukems with Sonic and Mario thrown in. It's just great and hope to see more like this from EA.
Sonic... I couldn't care for anymore. I don't want a "WEREHOG". I want Sonic The Hedgehog we all used to know. Not this... watered down, 3-D crap. I mean, I can live with the 2.5-D sections, they look fucking awesome. But the WEREHOG sections look like SOnic Adventure 2 on Gamecube. AND THAT WAS GOD AWFULLY AWFUL! Though throwing Choas around was a hell of a lot of fun. TAKE THAT YOU LITTLE FUCK-TARDS! HAHAHA!
How did we come onto this? I was speaking about buggy games! Well I guess the above games are slightly buggy. Ah well, I got everything off my chest that I wanted.
Joel.
PS: Shadow the Hedgehog doesn't even count as a game anymore.
Saturday 1 November 2008
What?!
Ok, little rant thing about many things.
Facebook have unbanned me. YAY!
Lets start witha few people I know off Facebook. And in school. And remember I'm in year 9. In America, it's about 3rd grade in high school. Something like that. What ever year Miley Cirus was taken out of school by Disney. 14 years of age. And these girls are in their underwear. AT 14! FOR BOYS! Now I'm not complaining, but, parents? Little control. Now we have a little brothel in our classes. HIGH FIVES!
Guitar Hero World Tour was released in America and 7th of November in the UK. From the reviews, the Wii version hasnt improved, the xbox and ps3 versions have failed and Rock Band is so god damned expensive to buy, if you want the complete expirence. Let me try to explain.
Rock Band 1 was released a year ago nearly, and now Rock Band 2 has been released and soon to be in the UK. Now if you own the first version, you can copy over all the songs from 1 to 2. Simple? Not when you splurge 180 pounds, plus 40 and then, on DLC or cymbals, its going to cost a bit. Guitar Hero comes with all these without the friendly interface, or band saving. I can live with that. If Slash fucked up his guitar solo in a song, you'd boo them off right? Not wait for them to recouparate and try to save his behind. They'd be ashamed. GHWT is trying to show you, that if you suck, you suck. Live with it. Try again. Not have your band members take their eyes off there side of the screen to also fail if on a harder difficulty. Really though, the singer is always going to come out top. I hope you understodd that.
See ya next time!
Facebook have unbanned me. YAY!
Lets start witha few people I know off Facebook. And in school. And remember I'm in year 9. In America, it's about 3rd grade in high school. Something like that. What ever year Miley Cirus was taken out of school by Disney. 14 years of age. And these girls are in their underwear. AT 14! FOR BOYS! Now I'm not complaining, but, parents? Little control. Now we have a little brothel in our classes. HIGH FIVES!
Guitar Hero World Tour was released in America and 7th of November in the UK. From the reviews, the Wii version hasnt improved, the xbox and ps3 versions have failed and Rock Band is so god damned expensive to buy, if you want the complete expirence. Let me try to explain.
Rock Band 1 was released a year ago nearly, and now Rock Band 2 has been released and soon to be in the UK. Now if you own the first version, you can copy over all the songs from 1 to 2. Simple? Not when you splurge 180 pounds, plus 40 and then, on DLC or cymbals, its going to cost a bit. Guitar Hero comes with all these without the friendly interface, or band saving. I can live with that. If Slash fucked up his guitar solo in a song, you'd boo them off right? Not wait for them to recouparate and try to save his behind. They'd be ashamed. GHWT is trying to show you, that if you suck, you suck. Live with it. Try again. Not have your band members take their eyes off there side of the screen to also fail if on a harder difficulty. Really though, the singer is always going to come out top. I hope you understodd that.
See ya next time!
Wednesday 15 October 2008
Facebook are Sugar Honey Ice Tea Heads
I've left after being resitricted from all apps apart from my wall and comments on pictures and videoes.
I hate Eastenders
I do. It's really depressing. Imagine your fondest memory, now add a death of your loved one, a murder, an argument and a women shouting, "Get out my bar!" That's Eastenders.
It can make you straighten your hair, wear make up and slit your wrists. If you watch it, you like to see others in pain. I can't remember an episode where anything happy happened. Not even a wedding; maybe because it such a deary place.
Now Corrie is FTW! (For The Win)
It's cheerful most times, its sad when it wants to be and actioned packed? Well Dev vs the bitch a few years back was like watching all 4 Die Hard Movies in one swoop! I like Norris. He's funny. ¬¬
Emmerdale is for old people. It's just boring and crap. Except when they do something big. Then it's cool.
Anyway, moving onto your daily dose of Gamer news; I'm getting GH4 on release datre here in the UK. 24th of October. Plus, because i preordered, I get a free Guitar controller :D.
It can make you straighten your hair, wear make up and slit your wrists. If you watch it, you like to see others in pain. I can't remember an episode where anything happy happened. Not even a wedding; maybe because it such a deary place.
Now Corrie is FTW! (For The Win)
It's cheerful most times, its sad when it wants to be and actioned packed? Well Dev vs the bitch a few years back was like watching all 4 Die Hard Movies in one swoop! I like Norris. He's funny. ¬¬
Emmerdale is for old people. It's just boring and crap. Except when they do something big. Then it's cool.
Anyway, moving onto your daily dose of Gamer news; I'm getting GH4 on release datre here in the UK. 24th of October. Plus, because i preordered, I get a free Guitar controller :D.
Sunday 12 October 2008
I hate the French. [Part ||]
Rargh!
Look at them with there wines and oinions and frogs and Frenchy shirts...
Theres a new girl in the school. She's French. She's rude and no one gives a poo about her.
The 'becks' have only taken her as their friend because her parent is getting married to another parent of the same crowd.
The boys of my class year just take the piss. "Hello my illegal friend!"
Theres a flock of girls I'm rather friendly with, they befriended her for a day until she ditched them and started wearing make up.
And the rest don't even bother with her.
But what really bothers me about her is, she's rude.
My friend broke his glasses after he got hit, and she shoved us all out the way and said. "Ah well."
1) You don't know him.
2)He can't see without them, so don't go, "Ah well"!
3)Shut up.
Let me tell you another story. We were all lauhing, joking and being loud. As you do. She comes running up the stairs of the corridor and goes, "Shat UP! SHAT UP!" Another person screamed at her, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Also, her personality is like a soggy carrot.
Look at them with there wines and oinions and frogs and Frenchy shirts...
Theres a new girl in the school. She's French. She's rude and no one gives a poo about her.
The 'becks' have only taken her as their friend because her parent is getting married to another parent of the same crowd.
The boys of my class year just take the piss. "Hello my illegal friend!"
Theres a flock of girls I'm rather friendly with, they befriended her for a day until she ditched them and started wearing make up.
And the rest don't even bother with her.
But what really bothers me about her is, she's rude.
My friend broke his glasses after he got hit, and she shoved us all out the way and said. "Ah well."
1) You don't know him.
2)He can't see without them, so don't go, "Ah well"!
3)Shut up.
Let me tell you another story. We were all lauhing, joking and being loud. As you do. She comes running up the stairs of the corridor and goes, "Shat UP! SHAT UP!" Another person screamed at her, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Also, her personality is like a soggy carrot.
Saturday 11 October 2008
I hate the French.
And they hate me apparently.
My french teacher, is... how do you put it? A Tw...it. He has no control, no understanding of language and worse of all, no concept of the law.
Control:
2/10
He stands there shouting and screaming and threatning etc, but know one cares, no one listens, no one even looks at him. It's funny really.
Language:
3/10
Please, learn how to pronounce words first.
Concept of the law:
-100/10
What part of, "Don't lay your hands on the pupils" is hard to understand? Oh I forgot, he can't read English.
Moving onto GAMING news:
Ubisoft; French.
Far Cry 2: Coming to steam.
In America.
Not Europe.
Frick off.
My french teacher, is... how do you put it? A Tw...it. He has no control, no understanding of language and worse of all, no concept of the law.
Control:
2/10
He stands there shouting and screaming and threatning etc, but know one cares, no one listens, no one even looks at him. It's funny really.
Language:
3/10
Please, learn how to pronounce words first.
Concept of the law:
-100/10
What part of, "Don't lay your hands on the pupils" is hard to understand? Oh I forgot, he can't read English.
Moving onto GAMING news:
Ubisoft; French.
Far Cry 2: Coming to steam.
In America.
Not Europe.
Frick off.
Oh Hai
Hey there,
Let me introduce myself; I'm Joel and I am the Limewizard.
Why Limewizard? It's random, catchy and awesome. (Or is it me?)
You're probably here because I've either told you about this blog or you found me on Youtube.
Be sure to check here for news on up coming videos and news on other stuffs.
BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
www.youtube.com/cohenandloynds
Let me introduce myself; I'm Joel and I am the Limewizard.
Why Limewizard? It's random, catchy and awesome. (Or is it me?)
You're probably here because I've either told you about this blog or you found me on Youtube.
Be sure to check here for news on up coming videos and news on other stuffs.
BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
www.youtube.com/cohenandloynds
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