I am like a child living in the 90s.

So. My new habit now is to spend lots of cash on old consoles. Alas, I think of it this way when I purchased my new old Super Nintendo and Dreamcast.

I AM PAYING FOR 2 CONSOLES.
EACH WITH THERE OWN SELECTION OF GAMES WITH THEM.
FOR 60 POUNDS.


In other words; I just bought 2 consoles for the price of the Modern Warfare 2 price. (WITH GAMES!)

I don't really know what to write about other than the fact the games are utterly expensive. Super Metroid in its box, 100 quid. StarFox with it's box and guide, 150 quid. So far the games I aim to aquire are out of my price reach. So I'll stick with my Super Mario All Stars and Plok.

My Dreamcast on the other hand, is slightly easier to get ahold of the games. I can nip down to my local Gamestation and they have quite a few behind the counter. But, when the times get tough- Shenmue...- I will have to result to using the easy way out with blank discs and ISOs. I don't encourage this, but I do in the cases when games become ridiculous to find etc.

I think the only game I've ever pirated properly was for PC and that was Grim Fandango.

The summer holidays draw to a close, and I'm gagging for a drink. See ya!



@Limewizard on Twitter.

I'm going to say one thing. Sorry. No updates in ages for reasons.

I'm pissed with HMV. My Prestige edition of Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 shouldn't be limited to that store. Nevermind the fact its costing me a lot of money, but it shouldn't be so GOD DAMNED secrective! It took 3 days worth of Googling to actually find out where abouts I need to get my order taken. HMV apparently got the exclusive, which is well done them. I golf clap them; they need it. But I look with evil eyes towards Activision for not giving us any infomation about it to the UK. Sure the French got some attention, the US have it anywhere, but us? PFF. Don't make us laugh.

I did get my order; I think. 120 pounds. It is 145 dollars over in America. THats 91 pounds. 195 dollars if we converted ours. Fuck you Activision. You've just lost any respect I had left for you.

Guitar Hero you have milked dry. GH5? I'll buy it. But I'm selling GH4. Because I have come to realise that game is shite. The songs are crap, the difficulty curve is still like running into a wall of nails. Band Hero? What is the need? The fact that it will drag more 'girl gamers' into the world of GH. But... I know plenty of girls that prefer playing 'Paint it Black' or even Call Of Duty. That is sad isn't it? Most games nowadays are just churned out by EA or Activison. It makes me sad.

Valve have recently announced stuff about Left 4 Dead 2, and that is really looking to be a treat? BULLET PROOF ZOMBIES. Fire bullets? OOh wee.

Erm... I do have a twitter? Limewizard :D

TV has become mind numbing. I've found myself watching it more and more since we got the new room. Because it goes like this on the desk we built.

TV + Freesat HD Phone TV
with
Xbox
Wii
PS2


So with these two TVs constantly blabbering on and on, I have my undivided attention between them. I curse you Scuzz. I curse you and the regular top 50 bands of all time countdowns. Curse you!

I'm also thinking of holding a Halo 3 tournement. Hmm, let us see how that goes. More news soon :)


Add me on Xbox Live! limewizard


See ya guys and gals and both genders!

Retro Binge: StarCraft

I'm not a fan of Real Time Strategy Games. I didn't enjoy WarCraft 3 or the much more simple Halo Wars. Infact, the only one I have enjoyed fully is Pikmin 2. (Pikmin one is awesome too, but I hated the fact that you couldn't go back once completed and explore at you're own liesure.) So I was put off StarCraft for a while. That was until I was watching the StarCraft 2 previews on Youtube, and it looked exactly the same as anyother Strategy game. Build the army, build a base of operations and don't die. Same old story and same old song and dance. I guess you can tell i wasn't looking forward to reviewing this for Retro Binge. I'm guessing you want to know how the hell I was convinced into playing this. I have to thank Adam from OverTheGun.co.uk (http://overthegun.co.uk/) for suggesting that I give it a go.

So when you start, you get given a rather nicely animated intro scene. I have to say, I like Blizzard's art style for this game. It isn't too WarCraft and it isn't too Sci-Fi. The human's are depicted as stero-typical American badasses. (I began to think I was leading an army of Vin Diesals at one point.) The tutorial is a little confusing, as it explains what to do, but not what each unit does. I thought that the huge mecha's would be strong and capable of killing hordes of enemies. No, they do the building and collect minerals and gas.

The story is pretty nice but isn't groundbreaking. It has to be the best from any game like this, but again, it isn't really needed. The story is here just to give you a mission, and sometimes the missions don't coincide with the story and are there for the hell of it.

The missions are fun and challenging. Although I do find myself using the same tactics over and over: Keep the "HERO" character back at the back and send say, 10 troops out into battle to clear the way. Build a base near any minerals and resources and then just build my army up and send them round to patrol. I guess this is the point, but I find it makes the game a little linear once you discover a ryhthm that works.

The graphics, even today, are infact pretty nice. The fact that this was released in 1996 and the cutscenes and gameplay begin to show there age, but this was quite an achivement. It isn't full 3D, with most of it prerendered backgrounds and layers in 2D put at such an angle that it almost looks 3D- ala Resident Evil. The cutscenes, are like early Pixar short films, although not as nice looking but they do the job. The artstyle is still one of the top I've seen and I'm glad they've stuck to it for StarCraft 2, released this year.

This was one of Blizzard's almighty three at the time, (along with Diablo and Warcraft) and probably to date, the most popular. With Asia still playing this over todays modern games and huge events held around the world for this in particular, I'm just a little upset I missed out on it all.

Looking onto the multiplayer side of things, this is where the game shines. The ability to quickly connect to Battle.net and battle against foes all around the country is fasinating. Different strategies and maps bring out the best fun I've had in years. Even when playing my brother over a LAN connection, and hearing him whisper, "Bugger." as I Zerg Rush his base, is much better than hearing some frat boy call me a N***er over Xbox Live. I guess, that is what seperates PC gamers to console gamers. The community. StarCraft has a loyal fanbase and yet if this where to be on console, it would be forgotten about about 3 months later, and not 13 years later until the sequel is completed.

Overall, this title was a blast. I think it does deserve a 10, but the fact is, it isn't the best looking anymore, the lip syncing was off and multiplayer was hard to find an open server. But it is a solid game, and I can't wait for the sequel. I'm feeling generous. 9.8/10. An A*. Yeah. I feel good about that.

Retro Binge (Wolfenstien 3D)

Being a gamer from the last generation, (Gamecube, Xbox, PS2) and having a buildong relationship in the PS1 days, (I used to own one for about 6 months before my Game Boy and Gamecube.) I feel the sudden need now to return in time to places I've never been. Yes. I'm going back to the glory days, after the glory days. Having bought, played and completed Wolfenstien for my iPod Touch (review in a moment,) I don't know why I felt the need to keep going forwards until I reach present day. I would love to do NES, SNES and Sega's holy and awesome days too, but that said; It's been done by everyone. I see no point, so my trip begins in the early 90's. Wolfenstien is released.

Retro Entry: Wolfenstien 3D; Released 1992. Reason for look back: Grandaddy of all FPS, (First Person Shooters.)
So the game starts with you in a room with a dead body. I presume you nicked his gun, and are now about to fend off Hitler's secret army. Running down corridors with new stylized touch controls, feels nice for about an hour; I felt a friction burn sentsation on my thumb. Corridors are cleverly planned, knowing the limited technology of the time, id Software laid them out in a maze style, making a simple looking hall turn into a puzzle of rememberence. The difficulty picks up on boss fights, which I guess is no concern, but being the new guy, I died and lost all my ammo, guns and extra health. I think they would have added a REAL save feature like from the PC. Ah well. After some time, I took down the boss. After a quick restart of level 8. Nifty thing in this is that all levels are open from the begining. So if you wanted to have a nostalgia trip of say... Chapter 6 boss, you can. Of course, playing through it properly and then returning to mess around.
The weapons were pretty nice, pistol has to be the best pistol in any game, ever. The machine gun is a good friend until I met chaingun. This bad boy shreads enemies to a pixilated picture of blood and guts in seconds. Though it could be said that the pistol just fires slower than the chaingun, as it also causes one hit kills.
Difficulty choices remain intact, with the hardest mode throwing respwing enemies, (I swear they respawn!) and bosses which take roughly 10 full chainguns to take down. Fun? More like hell. It is just impossible for the inexpirenced. Or the old vets, because of the new control scheme.
Speaking of control schemes. You have 3 or 4 different choices. New, simple and easy controls. Strafing forthe right handed and left handed, and tilt control. The new control suits it best. Strafing is for litterally those who wish to strech there fingers to fire the weapon and the tilt controls take some tweaking.
So on the whole, an 8/10. Its a fun, little port of the original. Next up is the big bad boy of Retro FPS games: DooM.
So on the whole I liked it.

Game Related Bollocks Podcast #1

Hello. Just a quick post.
Today I will be talking about how Guitar Hero is going into the what I like to call, "Sequel Shithole" and Sequels. Stay tuned.


http://ourmedia.org//user/218011

Team Fortress 2; Riddick and why isn't Half Life Episode 3 here yet?

I'd like to say that, Team Fortress 2 is now officialy my most favourite game ever. Its fast, funny, and best of all a first person shooter game. I love 'em to bits. But this stands out. I know its been reviewed, acclaimed, won stuff, but I want my say.
TF2, is essentialy a capture this and take it there or capture that spot to win. But with each play, you're expirence changes dramaticaly. You might go scout and run the whole way to the intellenge, nick it and be on you're way. Or, you might play as the medic, and help a heavy take down some soldiers that are in you're way.
I'd like to go through the characters if I may. (Just quick summeries.)
Heavy: Big gun, lots of health and insanly hard to take down.
Pyro: Muffled voice, a bit like Kenny from South Park, owns the most lethal weapon in the game, the Flamethrower.
Soldier: Vietnam, styled crazy american soldier with a huge ass rocket launcher.
Spy: Sneaky bugger, when used right you can trick enemy medocs to heal you while in disguise.
Medic: For those not brilliant at the killing, might go for a supportive role of the Medic by healing poeple in battle.
Demoman: Like explosions and grenades? This is the man for you.
Scout: Fast paced, (In my opinion, Quake styled) character with a shotgun and a baseball bat.
Sniper: Needs not to be explained.
Engineer: Builds turrets, dispensers to help out, and teleporters.

Got the jist?

So you choose a class and use it to effectiveness. But what's so amazing is, how balanced it is. You get the feeling, even though the Heavy has the 300 health points, you can take him down with a few swings from Scouts bat.
The humour is top notch stuff. Ever seen a massive Russian who was once just beating you to death with his fists and then whip out a sandwhich? You will now.
The community helps out a lot here. Maps and mods have beenade with some maps- personally I love the Orange X3 map- are amazing, and occasionaly with a new update, one or two get thrown in by Valve. Its amazing.
The game is constently updated, with new weapons for each class and achievments added each time for you to work through. (Right now theres 170 achievments.)
It witty, fast paced and good looking. A big massive 10/10, from me.


I played the Riddick demo. I was impressed. I was dissapointed. I was amused. It was satsfying. Try it.
I hate most "stealth" games. Metal Gear Solid is the only one I've enjoyed. Splinter Cell was shit. Meh. But, Riddick, Riddick is a more, "Look! Bad guys! Hide!" when its just given you a shotgun. Either I'm misunderstanding it, or its not much sense. Great looking game though. I also like how its an FPSSTEALTH game, but also goes into thirdperson for climbing etc. I loved controlling 'drones' much fun.

Half Life 2 Episode Three. We were promised it about a year ago? No. No. No. Here I am, waiting to find out what happend to our favourite mute, Gordon Freeman. But why? Well, I'd like to elaborate.
HLEP3, will be using the new Version of the Source engine; the same as Left 4 Dead. Thus, Valve now need to shift again from the Episode Two engine. Graphics changed etc.
If you played till the end of Half Life 2, you noticed all the beasties waiting for you to destroy. These will most lilely be included. But the main factor is, Valve are going back to the Borielis. "Back? We never went!" Wrong. We didn't go, but most did; before some nut job decided to release it all over the net, ruining the game. Valve also now have to animate alot of new things, update stuff and need to round it off with a BOSS FIGHT. Yeah, I know. Gasp.
But when It does get released I'm forst inline.

Watchmen: The End Is Nigh game... Alan Moore might not agree, but I do!

Watchmen is now a major film. Watchmen will now be milked for every cent it's got. You know it, I know it. But, I feel this game is diffrent. I've played roughly a sixth of it. (Seeing as waiting until 10 pm, and then realising, "Oh, it's nap time." and it's the demo) So, I've got the just.
Its essentially an old fashioned beat 'em up. Just in the most snazzy high definition graphics, I've seen from ANY Xbox Live Arcade, (XBLA), game or Playstation Network or infact video game tie in ever. Rorsach's blots constantly shift on his face, Nite Owl's electrocution and cape light up and swing around. The rain, the detail on the- well- dark and murkey areas, a top notch. It's really nice to see some effort put into this franchise! Seriously! I've got my complaints, but I mean, DAMN! This. Is. Enjoyable!
The opening introduction 'cinematic', is completely done in the comic's art style, the voice acting is superb on both Nite Owl and Rorsach, and the story is no-cannon, so Watchmen fans who are intrigued have nout to worry. Plus it's insanly decent.
The combat is effective, with Rorsach going nuts; it's just so him! He snaps legs, penises, arms and necks. But while Nite Owl is a skillful martial artist, with his gadjets, Rorsach is much more fun to play.
Now, I said I had complaints. But, it's okay. There not major. It's too short. 5 hours? 20 dollars? (Roughly 10-13.50 pounds here...) isn't a deal. I'm willing to dish out the cash, I just wish it was cheaper. But with this, comes replayability. I believe you could do it 3 or 4 times. Rorsach and Nite Owl have slightly diffrent scenerios, not noticable but felt. The game literally drops you in the deep end. It took 15 seconds to realise X and Y were attacks. Not the more obvious, A and B. Also, the moves can become convoluted and confusing. But the wobbly combat always has it's satisfying crunch. Not much else to say, so far, a 7/10. A reccomendation from moi.

PLEASE CHECK OUT: http://www.limewizardscheatsomfg.blogspot.com :D

PS3 GETS PRICE DROP; XBOX LIVE GOES FREE FOR GTAIV: LOST AND DAMNED.

Okay!
PS3 is moving to a smaller chipset thingy. Basically it cuts production costs thus lowering the price. Hooray? No. This also means the fact that something has to go. You see, with Sony's loss of 1.1 Billion Dollars, they cut the cost of the machine in hopes that it will continue to sell on. I think there doing the right thing but, like I said, cheaper machine, something must go. That could mean the privialage of costly multiplayer or something along the lines.
Microsoft, being the 'generous' kind, are allowing all those who purchase GTAIV: Lost and the Damned a free weekend of LIVE. And no, you can't play any other game other than GTA online. This is a rare occasion that Microsoft do this.

*REVIEW*
Imagine a party. Now imagine all the members from each company who make First Person Shooters (FPS) games. So: Bungie; Crytek; Treyarch; Infinity Ward and the lot. So. Heres the situation: Bungie hosted a party, and invited everyone in the genre. But all the old folks from the Quake and Doom eras left because it was late. So Bungie has the entire group doing the Hand Jive. But Valve came late. Valve doesn't like the idea of doing the Hand Jive. Valve wants to it's own thing.
I hope your following, cause here comes the review part.
Left 4 Dead the new title from the monolith Valve is a zombie FPS shoot'em up. With a bit of survival thrown into. My kind of game. But, it has its problems like anyother game. But lets start with positives.
Left 4 Dead (L4D) pits you against hundreds of zombies or 'Infected' at once. No story lines, just, heres a zombie blast it to bits. KTHXBI. Okay, okay, theres a little intro at the beggining but, I didn't care and either should you as it only really belongs with one of the four campaigns. Along with the four campaigns, it comes with 4 'levels' or 'missions' or infact scenarios in each. It's quick, simple old fashioned fun. But, each campaign can only last up to about an hour each time. Thus bringing up the question, "But, what about replayability?" Thats where Valve's secret weapon comes in. The AI DIRECTOR. Seeing as the game is done in the fashion of B-Horror films, it sort of fits in. Each time, you play through, you'll notice that it isn't the same. Where the pipe bomb was last time, a bottle of pills might have replaced it. Or, where health packs where last time nothing will be there now, leaving you helpless at the wrath of the millions of zombies.
talking of Zombies, there a a select few of special ones. The hunter and its pounce can leave a survivor pinned and being ripped apart, the smoker and it's tounge leaves a survivor being dragged great distances while crushing the foe. A tank is litterally what it says on the tin; big, mean and powerful. And always appears at the wrong times. And, if you hear that siniser music and a women crying, turn off the flash lights and hit ALT to walk. Other wise the witch is gonna get you and rape your ass by instantly knocking you to the floor. A major nuisence but has a great achievment. And you know the best thing? you get to play as these in Versus.
Multiplayer is the main selling point here as well as co-op. But this is a game best played with friends, as the NPCs have whittled down my patience. I NEED HEALING. STOP WALKING OVER ME. Eurgh.
the best thing about this is the fact, you can walk ahead. But the zombies will gang up on you. Stick with teammates and they'll look after you. An added help is the constent sounds, and highlighters that point out different weapons. I also found, putting on subtitles always helps with the Special Infected.
So, an enjoyable multiplayer game with zombies. 9/10

I would actually shoot my own foot. If it meant I win the Internet.

Guitar Hero!
GH:Metallica is on the way!
GH: Greatest Hits is the best songs from the past games with full Kit support.

I just finished playing the Halo Wars Demo, and for 2 weeks worth of downloading? Its a rent at best.
(Review when the full gMe comes out)

GTA!
GTA4: Lost and Damned (GTA4LAD) could set GTA back on the Fun course. Oh and Niko's in it now. Yay?
GTA: China Town Wars has no full voice acting, or music lyrics in cars. Instead Rockstar opted for the bigger city and extra features instead. I can live with that.

Resident Evil has Evil controls.
Dead Space IS/MAYBE coming to Wii.
Dead Rising 2 IS confirmed.
Dead Rising: Chop Till You Drop HAS been confirmed a poor port.
FallOut3 is still the best game ever.
Street Fighter 4's online play is a swing and a posible miss.
Ric Flair does Red Alert?! Who knew?
I'm enjoying a spit Of Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater. I have to say, it's brilliant.
What else?
I don't know. But, you know, Steam is the best thing evar!!!1!
I 2 weekends ago, the entire Rockstar package. Every GTA, even 4, Max Payne 1&2, Midnight Club 2, Manhunt, Wild Metal. All for 40 pounds!

Limewizard.

Back in the day... we had to play Street Fighter on a wooden box...

Ah Street Fighter. My favourite game on Xbox Live Arcade, Wii Virtual Channel and Game Boy Advance. Why? I don't know. Maybe the fact it's so retro that it's cool.
But I'm used to saying Street FIghter 2 (SF2), that SF4 seems like a vulgarity in my mouth. Blech. But! When you look at it, you feel your eyes melt away at how pretty it looks. But forget that! I'm here to bitch about controls!

The PS3 version will be fine, I'm sure. It's got a nice D-Pad, and nicly feeling face buttons, making Hadokens a doddle.
The Xbox version... Is slightly hindered. If your a man/women of the interwebs; you know why. The D-Pad is completly retarded. So retared it's usually not included in games anymore. It slips and slides around in your fingers. The only time I used it was in Halo. For about 2 minutes all together each match. And even then I had trouble.

Until now...
http://store.gameshark.com/StreetFighterIV GO THERE. They range from 30 dollars to around 150 dollars. But in the UK, its halved. So I'm paying 15 quid. Which I then can use on my PC too! I'm getting a sweet deal. I'd love to buy the arcade sticks, but money doesn't grow on trees. And either do they. I think they'd sell out straight away.
Another thing...
http://www.game.co.uk/Xbox360/Fighting/~r339033/Street-Fighter-IV-Collectors-Edition/
That, I will buy. So worth it. :D

As you may probably tell, I'm looking forward to it. I will preorder it. I am so there.

The Quake Era is dead. Almost.

Why doesn't it drop dead already?! Why does it still feel statisfying to complete it?! I'll tell you why!

It's. Fun.

FUN?! FUN?! Yeah! Quake, Quake 2, Duke Nukem 3D and Half Life (2), all fall into this catagory.

Heres how Quake Era games work:

HOLY SHIT?! WTF? Oh a gun! AH SHIT! Bang! Eat that! Right, run! MURDERISE!! Next level. Repeat. End boss.

Or the more gameplay wise:

Run. Ammo. Shoot. Run. Ammo. Shoot. Next level. Repeat. End boss.

You see? No dramatic stories, no puffs running around in green armour. You get ammo, you blow shit up.

The only modern games to get this were; Half Life 2 and PainKiller. (Shurikens. Lightning. LOL ZERO PUNCTUATION!)
Half Life 2 plays exactly to its older brother. Just with added gravity.
Pain Killer is probably the last of this sort of thing. If you see a weapon, you pick it up automatically. You see ammo, its instantly added when picked up. No dramatics. Just pure fun.

Now adays, we've got Master Chiefs and Stupidly Over Powered Graphically Soldiers. In THE DOG SHITE BROWN. Yes. Why is it always brown?

When Duke Nukem Forever arrives, you can declare Quake era dead.

Hopefully.

Other news!

No one reads this!
Little Big Planet 2 might be exactly the same!
GTA4: Lost and the Damned could be added with fun!
Kiddies like to go insane over games!
And Call of Duty 6 might be named; Call Of Duty 6/4: Moderner Warfare. Or Modern Warfare 2.

Aylin

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Playstation Home had its 15 minutes. Now do something with it.

I confess. I do like the Playstation 3's multimedia approach to the consumers. And after april, the price cut will appear and hopefully I'll add it to my Gamecube, PS2, PS1, Wii and Xbox 360, DS and DS lite. It will be welcome, it will replace my Xbox in my room, (the xbox will get the better TV, seeing as, to be honest, no intention on Blu-ray.) I would gladly play LBP properly instead of completing it and having just 3 hours with the creation tool, I'd love to finish Metal Gear Solid 4 properly instead of playing through with my ADD cousin who skipped some cut-scenes, and I'd want to try home out properly too.
My relationship with the PS3 has been shit. I've literally gone to friends and cousins to play. I found most of the games shite bar 5, (LBP, MGS4, Dead Space, GTAIV (even if it is the worst version) and Motorstorm) It just feels unfinished in the games department. Online is by far the worst I've seen. My cousin updated, we waited for litterally, 6 hours for it just to do half. The router may I add was about 5 cm away. The market place generally doesn't compare to the XBOXLIVE MARKET PLACE. Online play sucks ass sometimes, with lag and connection issues surrounding tue consoles I've played on. ALSO! Home, is a piece of garbage. Who ever came up with it needs to play Second Life, take an idea or two and mix it in. Don't add shitty waiting lines, sponsers, (I'll be comong onto EA and Red Bull soon) and the only decent things in it were the creepy guy who followed us, and raped us and! Watchmen adverts. Other than that Sony fucked up.

Off topic, Sony has lost 1.1 billion dollars, which is equal to, 100 billion yen. They also sacked a few people. Yeah, Microsofts going down the shitter too. Sad really.

Anyway. EA have this massive virtual space in Home now, which is completly barren from the screen shots I saw on Kotaku.com, but I presume more has been added. Like a few million arcade machines. I hated within my 10 minutes of playtime, all 10 were waiting for the que to die down. Its ridiculous. Red Bull have been bribed in with a plane game. Yippee? No, it looks truly awful.
Really, I've just reviewed Home. If I had more time with it, I'd proper review it, but of course all I did was watch my friend get raped, and wait in a line. Wow, Sony, great job.

2009, Best Games of 2008, updates, kittens and more!

My list for the best of 2008 got a bit forgotten. So here we go! (again..)

1) LittleBigPlanet (PS3)
2) Fable 2 (XBOX 360)
3) The Orange Box (PC)
4) Fallout 3 (XBOX 360, PC, PS3)
5) COD5: World At War (XBOX 360, PC, PS3)
6) Halo 3 (XBOX 360)
7) Guitar Hero World Tour/ Rock Band 2 (XBOX 360, PS3, WII)
8) Dead Space (XBOX 360, PC, PS3)
9) Left4Dead (XBOX 360, PC)
10) MetalGear Solid 4 (PS3)

Top 5 Flops of the year gone

1) Mirrors Edge
2) Mercinaries 2
3) Wii Fit
4) Guitar Hero DS
5) Banjo Kazooie Nuts and Bolts

Updates? Oh my!

Guitar Hero Metallica is set to be the hardest game to date in the series.
Left4Dead gets new skins.
Sources are lead to believe this year could be the year we hail to the king. I doubt Duke will show his face till late 2010.
PSN is still, no match for XBL.

Now I want to talk about the whole Xbox Live shouldn't cost. Most of the people who complain about it are Americans. And study shows that Americans spent most of their time playing the PS2, and World Of Warcraft. Now hang on. Most who play the WoW games, are infact Americans. And these Americans also might have an XBox. So your willing to spend 10 dollars a month on a game of grind, yet not 60 dollars a year for the best online servife to a console. You baffle me.

DJ Hero is in Development. Yay.

Oh and before I go, Metal Gear Touch.

Decent games from EA cause their economy to drop like flies.

When I got Dead Space from an unsuspecting grandparent this holiday, I interpreted it as a "SURVIVAL HORROR ACTION OVER THE SHOULDER GAME FROM EA WITH SOME GORE" So this is how I'm going to layout this review.

Survival: You do a quite a bit of it. Storing ammo, preserving health kits and stasis packs. By only giving you about 8 spaces and then unlockable spaces in the inventory, you have to think out strategies before you go out into the dark halls of the USG ISHUMURA, as, there isn't a single moment of rest. As you have probably heard, there is no HUD in the game. No health bars or ammo screens around your character, Issac. (ITS ZACK! Little in joke there...) Your suit is the hud as your health bar and stasis circle is situated on the back of the suit, the store and bench are also completely in game. I found myself murdered while buying health packs from the store; now that was annoying. The ammunition is shown as a hologram on the gun. The major gripe with this, is while surfing the inventory, I couldn't tell how many rounds I had left for my Plasma Cutter, which turned out to an 8 instead of 10. I think it could be better on a giant screen, but my standard TV couldn't display the rounds clear enough.

Horror: Where? I don't see any... Well, this game is panicky and gives you a little jump once and again, but the whole thing is completely obvious. The lights go out after pressing the button and a monster jumps through the window, causing you to take aim and fire. YOu also know this before any monsters are visible due to the ship flashing orange lights to alert you. This isn't scary. The first time maybe. No the next few hundred times a dead body pops up and gives you a hug.

Action: This game is more a Survival Action game. You've got you're standard quick time events when a monster starts to rip you to pieces, the whole explosions and the lot. The shooting etc appears. But it never takes over. Ever. Survival takes place more.

Over the Shoulder: Erm. Maybe I can speak about the controls? Yeah. They work. That's all I can ask for. They work and I can rest easy while tearing the monsters a new one. Left stick moves, right stick controls camera and aiming. LT redies your gun for aiming and RT does the firing. X applies a health pack and Y accesses your inventory. LB creates the run that is vital to escape and RB activates secondary weapon, EG: Mines. LT + A reloads and the best thing in this is the Zero G controls. LT + Y jumps. Thats it. LT + B Activates keninis and LT + X is your stasis. Stasis, slows stuff down making it easier to kill or pass through broken doors. As you can tell, LT is your main button. But, it might get confusing at times. Oh and RB and RT by themselves are stomp and punch respectively.

Game From EA: To be honest. This is one hell of a great game in years from the company. Seeing as Mercs and Mirror's Edge were massive flops and Far Cry 2 sort of fizzled out after a week over here in Britain, Dead Space is one of the top 5 games from the company. Yes, I am actually complimenting EA. They just nailed it right in the center of a enjoyable game. May I dare say, it matches up to Resident Evil 4? No. Don't be daft. Resident Evil 4 was the best game of the last generation.

Gore: The case has a dismembered arm. The game makes you kill the enemies by dismembering their limbs and you die in some pretty gruesome ways. How about a little bug ripping the head of and replacing it with it's own body? A giant propeller smashing you into pieces? That's just a few. You have a stomp which will just about finish off anything and slice the head off a dead body. It's just a gory ride from start to finish. Even fetuses want a bit of gore!

So, this disturbing masterpiece for the next months is given an 8/10. It's just go to point A to B and do something at B return to A and head to C. That is the basics of a mission in this game. The voice acting was decent for a horror game, but this isn't a horror game as such. Ah well, it's fun.

Resident Evil Degeneration is the third best game to film ever.

Resident Evil Degeneration is your bog standard zombie thriller at heart. But it's RE, so you've got the oddities.
The film takes place between Resident Evil 4 and Resident Evil 5. I think this is to clear up what was happening to anybody else, but it sure failed at that. There are as much plot holes in this film. Bad enough the series already had plot holes the size of the grand canyon. There must be at least 4 sentences through out the thing that relate to anything that happens that links to RE5. And even one of those must be incorrect. But the setting is first the air terminal as advertised but quickly moves to some research lab.
The best thing from this film was Leon. He's just an emotionless, zombie slaying bad ass. He beats Chris. The voice actor was superb at grasping the RE4 voice, unless they brought him in, I'm not sure. But Leon is also the worst. You can see throughout, that he is as wooden as a tree, he barley moves until the last 30-25 minutes and it's just pure laziness. On the whole the animation was nice and smooth, even if the facial expressions made them look like they'd all had work done.
There isn't a lot of Leon, which dissapointed me. Theres quite a bit of Claire, who remains to be as annoying as she was back in RE2. Fun times. Theres also some new women whos brother is the main monster thing. She's got the best "see a friend die " scream ever. "GREG! GREG! GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEG!" While Leon drags her out. Greg I'm glad died. If your going to have Chris, have Chris. Not Greg. The fat bloke who's real important is the most useless side character ever and why was there only one child throughout the entire terminal?
The zombies are meant to be scary. They aren't. There just plain humorous at times. When the plane full of new zombies crashes into the terminal, there aren't any stairs or ramps to help them down. No, they fall out one by one into a pile. I was wetting myself. But, i was sad to see them last about 15 minutes throughout the film. It was fun seeing classic RE zombie rapes.
What I was shocked to find, was Resident Evil 2 references the entire time. You even get flash backs with Leon and Claire running through Raccoon City. It really is the top of fan service; Ingrid Hunnigan makes a frikin appearance! But the film is strictly for the fans. Anyone else won't get it.
This film is just a big cut scene from start to finish. Which, I have to say, has to be the best scripted cutsecene in the world of video games. The film fills out nicely through it's ninety minutes and the day is saved by Captain Wood and the annoying women who says Leon really sexy like. I give this, a, 7/10.

Halo 3 and Resistance Fall Of Man reviews. Two shooters. Just ones more awesome than the other.

Everone pretty much knows about Halo. If you haven't then, you've been living under a rock for the past 10 years. First announced for the computer as a stratedgy game, it quickly turned out Bungie and Microsct had another idea. Bungie mutated it into the epic first person shooter we know and love today.
In the game, you play as Spartan-117, Master Chief. As the opening cinematic starts, unless you didn't play Halo 2, you realize what has become of the Chief. He has been crash landing towards earth and lands in the middle of the forest. Even in the first 6 minutes, you see the true power of the machine. The cutscenes have the same graphics as in the game. You are given a test as you begin, to check your sensitivity of your aim. Though this is pointless, as it didn't make much difference later in the game.
As you travel through to the next area, I begun to notice that this was pretty linear and fast paced. This was how a shooter should be made. Some free travel but really it all leads to the same path. You are pretty immersed within the game, until a cutscene drags you into a cinematic camera. Or a turret and flamethrower. This didn't bother me to much. The dialouge is cheesy but surprisingly well written. It's all linked to the previous games and references and fimilar faces appear time a d time again., (and incase you don't, and feel left out, Wikipedia it.) Though not the best, it is pretty enthralling as you watch it unravel. (Hint! Play through on Legendary or Heroic to find a secret scene!!)
The vechle sections are pretty much the most fun Ive had in any game that allows you to drive. Movement stick accelerates and looking stick turns you about. Left trigger drifts. Speaking of controls. These controls are some of the best ever. A to jump. B to melée or detach turret, X to throw down equipment, Y to switch weapon. The right trigger shoots and left throws your grenade or fires you dual wield weapon. Left bumper changes grenades and right trigger reloads, and activates things. Feels nice in my grip and everything.
Where Halo stumbles is the short time in campaign. As epic as it is, it's too short. On normal, you can blast through it in about several hours. This is where Legendary mode comes in. Achieving completion, is one of the greatest things you can do. I'm still trying to pass the second level. It's brutal, the enimes are completly nuts and the weapons do there job. It's frantic and fun. Espically in multiplayer.
The multiplayer on this game, is the most, awesome multiplayer since Counter Strike Source. With so many ways to play, either a standard deathmatch or team capture the flag, to grifball or zombie survival. The community is full of fools and very nice guys. It's frantic and espically, it's fun.
Youve got other features such as Forge, in which you edit maps in multiplayer, or theatre mode. Got an amazing headshit that you want to show off? No matter, simply load up the file, record the moment and share it over Xbox Live. You can capture nearly any moent from single to online modes. Very fun and it's amazing what can be done with it. (Roster Teeth's Red vs Blue Internet series, DigitalPh33r's Arby 'n' the Cbief or Duex Ex Machina)
On the whole, this game is epic. As sson as that Balo theme enters, you know your in for a treat. I give this an A or a 9/10.

Resistance. In anyway you look at it, it looks perculiar. Based in a differnet universe, , (Josh Hawksworth has given me the infomation) the Russians have developed a human enhancing thing. No matter how you look at it, there aliens. You must now battle through Well know areas, (Mabchester or York anyone?) The game's controlls are pretty similar to Halos. Just on another controller. X jumps, O chucks a grenade, triangle melees, which is really awkward and poorly placed. R1 shoots, R2 changes weapons, similar to Gears Of Wars weapon changing menu, L2 crouhes and L1 I'm not to sure. It made a bang and I got confused.
Let me praise it first. The story is pretty decent, the eniems are tough and the guns are nice and in viriaty. Ok, praise over? I really didn't like this game. It was sloppy from the start. Crouch was placed on the stupid marshmellow triggers and so was weapon changing. I would want a shotgun fast, to take out these giant dogs, and my finger would slip off. If it's going to be like that, at least put the weapons on the D-Pad, since your allowed four, place one to each arrow, and flashlight on the marshmellow. The enemys were dumb. Not the concept, but how they acted. In Halo, they would throw grenades at the minor enimes to send them as suicide bombers. These would stand around in one place but in a large number. The o my time they atually did a clever thing was when I was dead and waiting a respawn. They don't die properly and just sort of bend over like a squashed banana. Health was stupid two. Your given 4 bars of health. If a bar goes down half way, it will regenerate. Once it's depleted it won't. FAir enough? No. No it isn't. Health packs are thrown at you atthe BEGINING OF THE LEVEL. After that there pretty much hard to find. There will be two placed together, but, in co-op, one player might take two. Ammo is given for liketwo guns the whole time, and the guns are stupidly, stupidly, stupidly unbalanced twarss the enemy. They can kill you in a few shots, you take nearly half a round. Wrong. Oh and don't bother with grendades.
The characters you couldn't give two hoots about. The good thing about this? You can take your friend along for the ride in a decent co-op mode.
Whats this about the PS3 having GOOD GRAPHICS? These were crap. Full stop. I failed to notice any realistic textures, any outer coulours apart dog dirt brown and greys. I found it hard to navigate. The level structure was a mishap and graphics poor most of the time. Explosions looked like a dodgy mess. Quake 2 has better explosions than that! And it was made in the 90s! This is a pathetic excuse at an fps.
Overall? A C. Multiplayer brings this up. Graphics, controls and weapons were awful and the whole thing a tedious mess.

Ok, here's my low down on the console war: PS3 VS XBOX 360

So it seems my iPod can only type on this setting....

Let's start with the pros of both consoles.

Xbox:
- Brilliant graphics
- Decent backlog of games
- Many exclusive titles, (Halo, Gears of War)
- Connectivity with your Windows PC for multimedia. (Media Center)
- Nice, comfortable controller
- Easy to use interface
- Xbox Live is infinatly the better service at the moment
- Nice community within online games
- Ability to use MSN within your games
- Powerful Machine

Playstation 3:
- Brilliant Graphics
- Light controller, easy to use
- Little Big Planet
- Nice interface
- Bluetooth
- Able to hold memory on M2 cards
- Blu-Ray
- In-built browser

The cons:

Xbox:
- Red Ring Of Death
- No unbuilt browser
- No Little Big Planet
- Controllers d-pad is pretty much useless at times
- Stupid idiots who scream into their microphones
- Noisey
- Gets hot
-

Playstation 3:

- Not enough decent games
- Not enough exclusives, seeing as it's lost Final Fantasy 13, it's next big thing...
- Six-axis is pretty much stupid to be honest. When in GTA did you use it?
- Game developers have to take longer due to blu-ray
- The blu-ray can hold more stuff is stupid, by the time the blu-ray graphics are in, the extra space is redundent.
- It costs too much still.
- Backwards comparability was it's most greatest feature, the newer models no longer have it. Time to buy or dig out your PS2?
- Silly idiots online
- No proper community
- Bluetooth headset is rather idiotic of them. Why not take Miffosofts idea and have it wired and come with the package?
- Its bloody huge!

Now you may be wondering, "Wheres Xbox Live costs?!" Well no, it's a stupid argument. Most people are willing to pay 40 pounds for a year. It's not going to kill most, hard working citizens. But then again, if I wanted to play a game, I'd play the Orange Box on my PC.
Final verdict; until PSN can pick itself up, Xbox Live beats it. Until Microsoft realize that they need to check for bugs in the console, the Playststions reliablity is still not intact either. They too malfunction.
If you want to play games, and proper games, not FIFA, like Gears Of War or Halo, buy the Xbox, it's cheap and good money.
Want a home cinema system/ multimedia center pick up a PS3, there just too little games at the moment.
Oh, and if you want, pick up a good gaming PC for online play. Rumour is, PSN could be charging soon. There's money to be had!

Fable || was awesome!

I love this game to pieces. It's charming and fun.

In the game you start off as a boy or girl and find a magic box to grant you a wish with your sister. Your sister is then shot dead and the game starts.

During the course of the game, you will be accompinied by your faithful dog. This dog is easy to get attached to. It helps you find treasures, (Even if it is a condom....) helps you to fight and be your friend.

You also get to choose wheter you will be a nice, fun loving guy or the eviliest twat in exsistance. Your choices within the game affect your looks and how people treat you. If your a good guy, merchants will lower there prices and if your evil, vice versa.

I chose to be a nasty, ruthless killer, with several dead wives and all the guards after me because i killed over 500 people. This is fun but has it's consequences.

You can also get get married and have kids. This is a bad idea unless you plan to visit them every day. Save this feature till the end as it gets rather irritating being whined at by the kiddies because you don't visit.

Spells and guns have no limit. This keeps the action fast and the 3 buttons, (X for melee, Y for ranged wepons and B for spells.) The more you vary or concentrate on these the more you character will change. You spells a lot and white viens will show up on your body.

Expirence points arn't earned like in WoW or Pokemon, if you kill someone, blue, green, yellow or red orbs scatter the area and these will go toward your next spell or skill or even physique.

The charming aspect comes from all this, because it is so fun. The characters, are very life like and charming. Even if they do repeat themselves over time. The action is fast paced and comes in short bursts and having a sexy time with several people, is rather funny. 

You earn achievments when you play with your dog, so just try everything with the dog and you'll rack up about 30 points in a matter of minutes. 

CO-OP is generally solid and has all the great qualities of what co-op should be. Player 1 takes the lead and player 2 just stands around waiting to fight. Player 2 gets all your abilities and their own expirence and gold. Friend has to go? Never mind, you get all the loot. I found after an hour of play with my brother, I'd earned about 10,000 gold from it. 

Now I mentioned the consequences. These arn't at all probalmatic and nothing a few farts can sort out. Things you will find are that prices go up, people run away from you and you start to look different. EG: My guy ended up with horns and grey skin. The dog just look a right mess. 

Now. This game might be fun, but their is always a catch. LionHead didn't atually debug it. (IF YOU GET THE PATCH, IT SHOULD RUN FINE) But for those Xbox Liveless, are taking a gamble. You could get no picture, the abbot doesn't respond, the people don't respond, no sales or other events or time can stand still. So if your at night time, and time freezes, you can't do a blasted thing about it. You cant do anything, no shops etc. 

Overall? I give this a 10/10. Brilliant, fun and very amusing. Even if it does have a few bad points. Like the blond in your school, who had the real big boobs, but she had a few spots. She had a huge rack though.

 

Crimbo! Games! Top 10! Puppies! Updates! Reading! Oh MY!

Ok, you got a console or computer? Play games? Read and learn.

Top 10 Games to buy this Christmas!

1) Little Big Planet (PS3)

2) Fable 2 (Xbox 360)

3) The Orange Box (PC, Xbox 360 and PS3)

4)  Call Of Duty worl At War (Pc, Xbox 360, PS3, Wii, DS, PS2)

5) Fallout 3 (PC, Ps3, Xbox 360)

6) Duke Nukem 3D (PC, Xbox Live Arcade)

7) Halo 3 (Xbox 360)

8) Guitar Hero 4/ Rock Band (Xbox 360, PS3, Wii, PS2)

9) Left 4 Dead (PC, Xbox 360)

10) Dead Space (PS3, Xbox 360, PC)

Top 6 Games to look forward to:

1) Duke Nukem Forever (When it's done, PC)

2) Half Life Episode 3 ( 2010 PC, Xbox 360, PS3)

3) Street Fighter 4 (2009, Xbox 360, PS3)

4) Resident Evil 5 (13.3.09 Xbox 360, PS3)

5) Tekken 6 (September 09, Xbox 360, PS3)

6) Halo 3: Recon (2009 Xbox 360)

Updates:

Resident Evil 5 looks like Gear of War.

Duke Nukem Forever won't be coming out yet.

Half Life episode 3 won't be out till about 2010. (New Source engine and all.)

Left 4 Dead was modded on 360 instead of the much simpler PC.

Little Big Planet is awesome because it has Stephen Fry.

Grand Theft Auto 4 is getting new missions and character. 

Grand Theft Auto Chinatown wars is for DS.

Dead Space isn't scary.

Metal gear could be coming out for 360.

PUPPIES!